Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Out of Control

No, not my children. Me! Ya'll, I was totally out of control yesterday morning. Totally. As they would say in 'I Love You, Man' toats magoats.

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, and it was downhill from there. I'm doing the Frazzled Female 30 Day devotional journal, and I do them at night since I absolutely CANNOT get up before the kids to do it in the morning, and the night before was all about the power of positive thinking, and replacing your negative woe-is-me thoughts with powerful scripture. Well, none of that made it into my tiny little mind.

And you wanna know the worst of it? The kids weren't even behaving that badly. It was hot as all get out, sweat was just pouring off me all morning, and I could NOT get that baby to sleep for a morning nap! I finally got him up there, then took the big kids out front to play on the sidewalk while I cleaned out the van. Why is playing on the sidewalk so darn fun? Who knows. But again, they were pretty good, I just for some reason was loosing my mind by that point!
Then I got too hot, so we went back inside and turned on all three air conditioners and spent the rest of the morning working on a project. Now, usually, they will do projects for hours on end. Not yesterday. As soon as I got out my scrapbook stuff, the baby woke up. Got him settled, then sat down, and the big kids were DONE. Whining, crying, pushing, hitting...and boy, did their mama lay into them.

I just yelled and yelled. I was frustrated because I was hot, and hungry, and I wanted to work on my scrapbook, and I wanted the baby to sleep, and I wanted the big kids to be quiet and act older than they are. In other words, I was being completely selfish and unreasonable! I called a girlfriend to see if I could escape to her house for a while, but she wasn't home. I called Nick, but he was out on the water. Ya'll, I was truly loosing it.

But I somehow got a grip and just like that, it was gone. That's never ever happened to me before! Is that what grace feels like? I was yelling at Scott while he was already in time out to STOP CRYING (yea, they really stop crying when you scream at them) and I just said, this is stupid. Rejoice in the Lord always. Is this rejoicing? Not exactly. Thanks Frazzled Female. So that was it.

Isn't that amazing?!?! Scott calmed right down (duh) and they actually helped me make their lunches, ate up, then went on upstairs after one last fight with each other.

So, continue to pray for me. It's working! Yes, yesterday was one of my very worst days since becoming a mother. But it was also one of the best.

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