My poor husband. I have recently gone CRAZY buying everything I can get my hands on! I mean, it is becoming a serious problem! Even though I know that Guam is not a deserted island (hello! I have a living, breathing best friend there who is actual PROOF that you can, in fact, buy toilet paper and chicken broth on the island) I just can't seem to get that from my brain to my heart. Does that make any sense? And I've always been a stockpiler. I prefer the term stockpiler to hoarder. Doesn't it just sound nicer?
It started with furniture. Even though we don't know how big our house will be (and in fact, we actually know it's going to be rather tiny) I got it into my head (and then convinced my husband) that we needed to buy a bunch of furniture because we won't be able to buy furniture there. And even if they DO have furniture there (I told him during my convincing plea) it would be a limited selection, and it wouldn't be what we really want. He and I have a history of buying things that are less than what we really really want simply because they're cheaper. So I used that to my advantage (sneaky wife that I am!) and bingo- new bunkbeds and dressers for the boys, new (HUGE) dining table and chairs and buffet for me. Oh yeah, and remember the EFX machine? That was part of this too (because, I told him, I'll never have time to go to the gym). And I can honestly say that all of this was a pretty good investment. As long as I have a Lost DVD to watch, I use the heck out of that EFX machine. And we both hated the old dining table. And beds, that's just practical.
But then things started to get out of control. I needed bedding. And not just bedding for the bottom bed, where Scott actually sleeps, I need it for BOTH beds, so that they match. Even though no one will be up there for a LONG TIME. And part of this bedding is sheets and pillows and shams and pillowcases that no one will be using for a LONG TIME. But if we wait, and order it in Guam, there's extra shipping charges. So (I told my husband) this is actually saving us money! It's a good investment!
And then I needed to stock up on summer clothes. They're on sale honey, because it's so cold here. And the NEX in Guam probably won't have a good selection, and there certainly won't be a Gymboree, and guess what, they're doing Gymbucks, so this hundred dollars that I'm spending is going to save us a bundle in the end! These pastel colored tank tops and frilly capri pants and cute board shorts for the boys is a GOOD INVESTMENT! The only thing I haven't stocked up on for those kids is shoes, and that's because I'm a total shoe snob. I can't bear the thought of them wearing ill-fitting shoes because I had to guess what size they'd be. Shipping prices be damned, my children will be wearing sturdy, practical footwear the next three years NO MATTER WHAT! And Nick has my dad to thank for that.
(On a side note, even though my dad has been drilling STURDY, PRACTICAL footwear into my head for the entire twenty seven plus years that I have been on this planet, when Nick and I went to London all those years ago, I opted to bring my cute, heeled boots instead of my ugly sturdy practical footwear. I believe with all my heart that my aching feet contributed greatly to my MISERABLE experience there.)
Then our BJs card expired, and it wasn't practical to renew it, so I'm sure my darling husband breathed a sigh of relief and thought to himself at least she can't buy a thousand rolls of TP before we head out there. Au contraire! Our neighbor loaned me her card and I'm a woman on a mission. They're gonna move it for me, so why not? And things are probably more expensive on the island, even if they DO have my preferred brands. So honey, these seven boxes of 140 diapers each, and four boxes of eighteen 4-packs of TP, and countless canisters of Clorox wipes and magic erasers and ziploc bags and plastic silverware-it's all a good investment (I assured my husband). Trust me!
I can't even go into detail about all the things I've collected for the plane ride. It's embarrassing. When the Navy bought our five tickets, I figured might as well go ahead and take advantage of getting to have five carryons and ten suitcases. We didn't actually buy ten suitcases, but we came close. And who could resist those cute monogrammed rolling backpacks for the kids to carry on? And a new Vera Bradly tote for me...and another one for the baby...goodness. But we'll probably hop a few flights while we're over there, honey (I begged), so in the end, these are all good investments too.
And then there's the Tupperware. Again, there's an extra shipping charge to send it to Guam, so we better stock up here. And it's probably more humid there than even we can imagine (and we're from two of the boggiest places in America) so we need to protect everything in the pantry from the wet, so we're gonna need a lot. But honey (says I) without this Tupperware, all the money we spend on groceries might go to waste! So this is a GOOD INVESTMENT!
So? Have I lost my mind? Probably. Am I out of control? Most definitely. And has my darling husband even raised his voice to me once, told me I'm being irrational, shouted that OF COURSE THEY'RE GONNA HAVE TOOTHPASTE IN GUAM YOU RIDICULOUS IDIOT!!!