Now, I know that since I have a uterus and a pair of ovaries, I'm supposed to be all weepy over little teeny tiny babies, all oohhhs and awwws and the works. But truthfully...I'm just not that into them. Not when they're THAT little. Human babies are born TOO EARLY. It's because they're brains are so big, they have to be born early so they'll fit. I learned that in my human development class. Four years at Auburn-that's the one factoid I took with me. Sigh.
Anyway. Just born puppies? Fat and cuddly and cute. Just born kittens? Doubly cute, once they're dried off. Just born human babies? Long, scrawny, huge heads, skinny arms, bulging bellies, chicken legs...no thankyou. And why are their legs always pulled up like a frog? I mean, I know WHY, but still. You're not in there anymore, stretch your legs out! And open your hands!
And seriously, guy who taught my human development class? (Because you know, I'm sure he reads my blog...) They're born too early to keep their heads small and THIS is as small as it gets? IT'S AS BIG AS THE REST OF HER BODY!!!!
Thank goodness my husband has a fondness for those scrawny little runts. When I'm the only woman in a room not clamoring to hold someone's fresh-from-the-hospital baby, no one notices because everyone thinks it's "SO WONDERFUL" that Nick is all over the drowned rat. Again, no thankyou, he can have it.
Fortunately, even when they're all elbows and knees, you can cover them up with a super cute, although totally unnecessary, snowsuit and pretend you caught a picture of their first wave.
Incidentally, the photo above was taken the first and only time I've ever gone to visit my husband on the sub. That was when he was on the Scranton. The best boat ever. Man, if only I'd known how good that boat was. Jane, if you're reading this: WE MISS YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW.
And, as long as we're "flashing back," remember that old commercial (I'm assuming for a cell phone, but I don't actually remember) where the guy calls his dad collect and says "First name Bob, last name WeadddababeEeeetsaboy." And the dad hangs up on him without taking the call and turns to his wife and says "That was Bob. They had a baby. It's a boy." Man, that was a good one.