Monday, August 30, 2010

Monday Monday

Have I mentioned that Brandi and Lee are finally back? They went home all summer and finally came back a few weeks ago. Lee gets to start kindergarten next week, so we probably won't be seeing too too much of him, but we still plan on hanging out with Brandi and little Easton as much as possible.

They came over last night for dinner and I took advantage of the situation to take one hundred and seventy two pictures. After narrowing that down to the twelve good ones, here's the very few that are blog worthy.

Here's Ava and her very first friend. Five month old Lee visited three day old Ava in the hospital the week she was born. Isn't that so sweet? They've always played so well together, even after nearly a year apart, they just picked up right where they'd left off.

Tangled up in the hammock swing. They were pretending they were in a spider web. Kids are so dumb.

And here's little Easton. Obviously, I don't have any pics of Harley, but if you want to know what he looks like, picture this baby, only a little taller and a tad wider. I've seriously NEVER seen a kid look SO MUCH like his father, it's UNREAL.

And here's my son, who now looks like he's going thru chemotherapy. I don't get it, we always cut his hair that short, I don't really get why it looks so different this time. Weird.

He's pretending to go night-night on the bags of mulch. Have I ever mentioned how dumb kids are?

Scott, and Scott Two.

Try as I might, I just could NOT get a picture of Easton and Warren together on that dang slide. They were up there together for a good twenty minutes, but they're both so fast! It's like they were conspiring to always stand one right in front of the other. Stinkers.

And finally, miracle of all miracles, Scott learned how to "pump his legs." HOORAY!!! If any of you don't have kids, you don't understand what a huge milestone this is. Sitting, standing, walking, talking- whatever. This is bigger. This one means that, instead of standing there for hours on end, pushing your kid on a swing (because that's ALL they want to do at a playground) you get to sit on a bench for twenty minutes and relax. Ahh. So yeah, in order, my favorite milestones are sleep through the night, pump your legs, and stop drinking twenty-three dollars per canister formula. And no, I'm not interested in breast feeding.

Last pic of the night...look at my handsome fella. I guess it MIGHT not be the end of the world if baby number four is a boy. Don't get me wrong, I won't be happy, far from it, but I might not have to kill anyone.

So we started going to this new church and guess what?!?! THEY'RE DOING A BETH MOORE STUDY!!! Now, seriously, have you ever met a woman more desperately in need of a Beth Moore study than me? I highly doubt it. I've already set up a sitter and bought the book. I'm SO EXCITED!!! So yeah. Great way to start the week. How was ya'll's weekends?

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Top of the World

So, remember back in high school when the Dixie Chicks were THE band? And then they like got in a fight with President Bush and all the radio stations banned their music and people threw their albums underneath army tanks? First of all, where did regular people get army tanks anyway? And second of all, I think if everyone had just stepped back and taken a breath, it probably wouldn't have gotten so out of control. I mean, so they hate the president, in the grand scheme of rock bands, is that really that big a deal? I mean, you got singers out there biting heads off chickens and stuff. But, I guess since they were country singers, and southerns are typically conservative and all that...anyway.

The world hated the Dixie Chicks, but I always loved them. I watched their documentary, Shut Up and Sing, and it was REALLY good. Did you know that she got honest to God death threats? And they were valid too, not just some kook sending trash mail. Can you imagine being so upset by something that someone said (an American citizen, who is ALLOWED to speak her mind, at that) that you would honestly plan out a way to end her life? Well, guess she channeled all that upset because when they released Long Way Around (I think that's what it's called, but I don't actually know) they like won all the Grammy's for it. So stick that in your pipe haters.

Of course, no radio stations in Biloxi ever played any of their new stuff....luckily I was in Virginia and had XFM at the time, or else I might never have even known they had a new album. Sad.

What was I talking about?

Oh yeah, the Dixie Chicks. Well, they've got this song called Top of the World. Sadly, they didn't write it, but it's still good. And it's always been able to get me a little choked up, a little burning in the throat, but now that I'm hormonal ONCE AGAIN, it literally makes me sob every time it shuffles into my ipod. And not cute little movie heroine sobs, I'm talking about retching, heaving, loud, snotty nosed sobs. It's a mess. I'm tempted to take it out of the dang thing to avoid an accident.

But this song ya''s good. From what I can tell, it's told from the point of view of this old man (or dead man, sometimes I think he's already died) and he's looking back on his life and FILLED with regret. Absolutely consumed by it. And it's just so heartbreaking! Somewhere in the song, he realizes that it's too late, and that part is the worst for me. In our society, people are always telling you "It's never too late, it's never too late" but they're full of sh*t!!! It WILL BE TOO LATE, and sooner than you think. Seriously. So sad. So, here's the lyrics.

I wished I was smarter
I wished I was stronger
I wished I loved Jesus
The way my wife does
I wish it had been easier
Instead of any longer
I wished I could have stood where you would have been proud
But that won't happen now
That won't happen now

There's a whole lot of singing that's never gonna be heard
Disappearing everyday without so much as a word somehow
Think I broke the wings off that little song bird
She's never gonna fly to the top of the world right now

Top of the world

I don't have to answer any of these questions
Don't have no guide to teach me no lessons
I come home in the evening
Sit in my chair
One night they called me for supper
But I never got up
I stayed right there in my chair


I wished I'd a known you
Wished I'd a shown you
All of the things I was on the inside
I'd pretend to be sleeping
When you come in in the morning
To whisper good-bye
Go to work in the rain
I don't know why
Don't know why

'Cause everyone's singing
We just wanna be heard
Disappearing everyday without so much as a word somehow
Wanna grab a hold of that little song bird
Take her for a ride to the top of the world right now
To the top of the world
To the top of the world
To the top of the world
To the top of the world
To the top of the world
To the top of the world
To the top of the world
To the top of the world
I wish I had some idea of who he's talking to. It's not his wife, right, because he talks about "his wife" so she can't be "you" as well, right? Doesn't it just break your heart? When he talks about coming home and sitting in his chair and they call him for dinner and he just stays in the chair!!! Oh my GOSH! Talk about regret. That's a fear of mine, that I'll regret letting Scott play outside this morning in the sprinkler while I stayed inside reading. You know?

And the part where he pretends to be sleeping when whoever it is (really seems like the wife, you know?) comes in to say goodbye?!?!? What a horrible man! Ugh. I'm telling you, this song speaks to me. And it just breaks my heart. And makes me want to be a better person.
Remember that stupid Jack Nicholson movie where he says that to Helen Hunt? I hate that guy. But still, it does. Make me want to be a better person.
And the violin and cello at the end makes me want to learn to play violin and cello. But that's not really the point.
I actually have no point. Except that this is a really good song and I really want you to listen to it.
I had something relevant to say, something about one of my kids, but now I'm too busy crying to remember what. Probably just that they suck and I don't want to have four.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Rambling Woman

So I haven't been keeping up with the blog lately. Or the laundry. Or dishes. Or housework in general. Or the whole children-rearing business. I have been reading a lot, and watching Glee on netflix. And sleeping a lot. I dunno. I'm not in a funk, like I was when I first got here...I just can't seem to get a handle on my time. I feel like I'm just struggling to tread water. And I AM, I'm keeping my head above the water here, but I'm like...not making any forward progress. Does that make sense? I mean, it's so much better than back when I first got here and I was SOOO overwhelmed and depressed, but still. It'd be nice to feel like I'm making that forward motion, you know? I want to be doing more than just SURVIVING this life. I'd sorta like to be ENJOYING it, you know?

Anyway. I tricked Ericka into keeping the boys for me during gymnastics yesterday (haha SUCKER!) so I got to take some pics of my little gymnast. You know, gymnastics wouldn't be such a horrible pain in my ass if I felt like she was really enjoying it. She just LOVED gymnastics in Connecticut, and I think she sort of expected Margaret to be HERE in Guam when she started, so I think she was a little disappointed when Margaret never showed up. And she's younger than everyone in her class, so that's a little weird too. I dunno.

Yeah. See her teacher? Imagine how great it makes me feel to come and see her in her little shorts and spandex pants and tank tops, while I'm expanding at the ridiculously rapid rate of a woman carrying quintuplets. But she seems nice. I guess. Whatever. We all know I hate skinny people on principle, so whatever.

Speaking of my poor darling firstborn. Poor Ava. She bears the brunt of my raging scream fests, just because she's old enough to understand. And it's usually Scott who's done something, then Ava joins in at the last second. It's so hard to remember that they're practically the same age. He's such a baby that I find myself treating him like a baby and expecting Ava to act like a twelve year old. In an effort to cut down on my spankings, I've become one of those behavior chart moms. Ugh. She's doing pretty well with it. She's trying to earn this little Pet Shop thing. I have a feeling it's going to take her a LONG time to get it :(

So, I want her to act like a twelve year old, but I also treat her like a baby. It's confusing, even to me. Especially to me! I was at Brandi's the other day, and Lee comes inside, goes into the bathroom, takes off all his clothes, takes a shower, gets out, dries off, gets dressed, and comes back to the living room. All by himself. He's FIVE MONTHS older than Ava. When Ava needs a bath? I undress her, put her in the tub, wash her, lift her out, dry her off, and put her jammies on her. Then I brush her teeth and comb her hair. And she still uses a sippy cup exclusively.

And to top off her dramatic life, her two friends at school have decided that THEY are now best friends, and no longer friends with Ava. WHAT?!?!?! Seriously, this is something I have to handle at FOUR YEARS? I thought this was more a problem for twelve year olds!!! Ugh. I don't even know what to SAY. I told her that maybe she could be friends with someone else, and she said no one else wants to be her friend either. Then Scott pipes up with "well you can be a friend with your teacher!!!" all proud of himself. I'm literally crying right now. Why, why oh WHY, did she have to inherit MY social skills!!??!!?? I mean, Nick is MR. SOCIAL!!! Why can't she just have that natural talent like him? Of all the things that I wished for and prayed against, my social skills were right at the top of the list, just under "don't get cancer." It's THAT important to me.

Ugh. Blogging usually makes me feel better, but now I just feel worse. And, of course, Nick has duty, so I'm sans adult interaction until tomorrow afternoon. How fair is that?

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Flashback Friday

So, lemme tell you right quick...I have these four frames. I bought them all when I was pregnant with Ava, in case they stopped making them. Little did I know we'd be moving to Guam and it would be like they stopped making everything ever invented. People give me crap about buying tons of useless junk "just in case they stop making it" but hey, who's laughing now!!!

Anyway. Each frame has twelve little holes, and you put in a baby picture for every month for the first year. Ava's I did every month, and that was easy. Scott's...I did the first two right on time, then I'd wait until I had about three (or maybe four...) months to do and I'd do them all at once, just a teeny bit late. Warren....uh...Warren's was totally empty until today. BUT I did all twelve holes today, and truthfully, he'll never know. Well, unless one of ya'll tells him. In which case I'll tell him you are a big fat liar and he should never ever listen to you again.

Point being, I got to look IN DETAIL through the first twelve months of his life. Sigh. What a sweet boy. Maybe it won't be the end of the world if I have another boy. But it will still suck.

So here's a few flashback shots of Team Engelbrecht. These were all taken between ten and fourteen days old, so they're weird looking.

What in the world is she so scared of?!?!

This doesn't even look like one of mine. Perhaps we brought the wrong kid home for a few days, then someone figured it out? And, uh, switched back? I mean, if I weren't here to TELL you that this is Scott, would you EVER in a million years think it was?

And here's Warren. Anyone wanna man up and agree with me yet? Little bitty babies ARE NOT CUTE. Ugh.

Ooh, I can't resist. Here's a few more, of my little Ava. She (for one) quickly outgrew the string bean awkward stage and became The Cutest Kid Ever Born. These are from April 2007, when Scott was born. She's seventeen months. She's YOUNGER than Warren is now, and I've just rocked her world by bringing home a new baby. What kind of mother am I? But anyway, HOW FRIGGIN CUTE IS SHE?!?!?!

I Think I Might Be Adjusting

That picture sums up my new life. Toes in the water, ass in the sand. Well, lawn chair. But it's a really low lawn chair, so that counts. I HATE sand, I'm not going to sit in it when I don't have to. Gimme a break. And besides, my back hurts.

Yes, apparently, I am now officially seventy nine years old. Sigh.

Getting sick of beach pics yet? At least it's really summer. Think of how mad you're going to be when it's January and I'm still posting beach pics. Hehehe. There are a few perks to living in Guam. Just a few. Double sigh.

Warren is usually pretty well behaved at the beach, but this day he was throwing a FIT. Showing his butt. Angela, remember when your mom used to say that? Well, that's what he was doing. RIDICULOUS. So I took a picture. Notice how he's sort of peeking around his fingers to see if anyone is watching his theatrics?

He's also learning how to play WITH Scott, instead of just next to him. I love that stage.

Dad, Scott concentrates very very hard when he's building a sandcastles. Like, seriously, he's deep in thought.

Isn't this cute? I wish I'd zoomed in more on Warren and gotten Nick's shoulder all blurry so you couldn't really tell what it was. Oh well.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I have to have another girl. I just HAVE to ya'll!!!

So that's my new life. On a good day. On a bad day, it looks more like this.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Eight Years

Well, today is our eight year anniversary. And, in keeping with true Engelbrecht tradition, Nick has duty and had to go in even earlier than early, so he left at five thirty and I didn't see him this morning. And he won't be home till tomorrow night. So, we'll go the entire anniversary without seeing each other! One more reason I heart the Navy :)

So, eight years ago we got married. Wow. Hard to believe, right? I was only twenty years old! We planned it for the (tiny) break between summer and fall semester at Auburn, so we ended up getting married on a Friday, which, at the time, was a HUGE deal for me. I mean, a Friday? Who does that? Obviously, it ended up not being any sort of big deal at all, you know?

I know a lot of girls say "Oh, planning my wedding was such a horrible pain, I don't ever want to do that again, woe is me!!!" But I LOVED it. Seriously. I don't think I was a Bridezilla at all. I wasn't overly particular, I didn't really have any preference on the little was just a lot of fun. The hardest part was picking a place for the reception, but once we did that, it was all smooth sailing, for the most part. The hotel provided a wedding coordinator type lady, and whenever she asked a question that I didn't care about, she just made the decision for me.

The only thing I REALLY cared about was the photographer. And, even though I really truly thought I hired the best of the best, you can see that I did not. Ugh. This was 2002, and, hard as it is to believe, digital photography was still a sort of new technology. At least to me. So, I was convinced that if he did it digitally, something would happen between taking the pics and getting them on the computer and we'd lose them all and have no memories whatsoever. Nevermind that this could have happened with film too. I was ADAMANT about not having it done digitally. What an idiot. So, along with the fact that I got the most ARCHAIC form of photographs around, the dude also did NOT get all the shots I wanted, and he left the giant tacky red VBS banner up in the background. Seriously, guy? Really? You didn't think the stained glass WITHOUT the kids' banner would be a little nicer?

I also signed up for just a proofs book and the negatives. I figured I'd either make my own wedding album (uh,hello, the books themselves are like five hundred dollars!!! WHAT AN IDIOT!!!) or I'd go back and have him do it later. Flash forward eight years... and I still just have the proofs book and a shoebox full of negatives. Sigh.

So, any time I want to DO anything productive with my wedding pics, I have to scan them into my computer. Do you have any idea how boring and time consuming that is? Ugh. So my mom is wedding-scrapbook-less, I am wedding-album-less, and all my pics are dusty because my scanner bed is a filthy mess.

BUT, I suppose the pics remind me of our wedding, and that's the whole point, so they're actually pretty darn spiffy. What an awesome day. I had SO MUCH FUN, and everyone I loved was there and it was just perfect. I wouldn't change a thing. Except the photographer. And my tiny cake. Got a little confused ordering that sucker. It's hard to plan a wedding from so far away!
Speaking of cake, let me go on record ONCE AGAIN and say that we BOTH agreed not to smush cake in each other's faces. It's tacky, and I had the most beautiful dress ever created on. And the cake had BLUE icing. So we BOTH agreed that we wouldn't do it. In fact, you can even see me growling at Nick, to remind him that we BOTH AGREED. In fact, I might be saying "If you smash that cake in my face, you won't even make it to your one day anniversary." Might.

So far so good, although not an attractive face I'm making...(thanks photographer guy! awesome as always!)

Then that little a-hole actually smushed cake in my face. Seriously.

So then I had to smush his face too. Ugh. So tacky :)

What a day. Although, looking thru this tiny sampling of pics, I'm starting to think we may have kissed a little much. What do you think? What can I say? We like to kiss!

So that's a tiny glimpse at the most extraordinary wedding ever. Princess Diana who?