HOWEVER, I think the endless tears and screaming at my kids since my mama left is sort of a gentle nudge that it's time to get back outside and get some fresh air and endorphins. If you had ever told me I'd be spouting this Tom Cruise bullsh*t about exercise and water curing depression, I would have probably punched you in the face. And to tell the truth, I am a little horrified to find myself saying these things. But I can only say what I feel, and I truly feel that exercise helps, at least a little, at least for ME, with my depression.
And THAT being said, if I don't kick this funk soon, I'm going to have to go another route. I've been getting these terrible headaches from my allergies, so I made an appointment to beg for zofran (does anyone else get SUPER nauseous with a headache? I never did before I started getting pregnant, but nowadays, not five minutes after I start getting that pressure behind my eyes, I get first-trimester-the-world-is-totally-going-to-end-and-I'm-going-to-die nauseous. And guess how many times I had to google it to get nauseous spelled right? I mean, that does NOT look correct!) Anyway, first of all, he better be willing to give me zofran. I don't want to have to find one of those teenagers who forges prescriptions for vicodin, but I will. I will find a drug dealer to get me some zofran, don't test me! And then, if I'm still having this hard of a time, I guess I'll ask for something. I know a pill can't give my kids a bath and pack all their lunches in the morning, but maybe if I could stop crying for a few hours, I could get a little more done, you know?
In other news, I bit the bullet and ordered a new camera. Since none of ya'll offered any help (thanks for that!) I had to consult my trusty google. I just love google. And what I came up with was that as much as I wanted the D90, since I am nowhere NEAR a skilled photographer, the MUCH less expensive D5000 was the better choice. Now let's all band together and pray with all our hearts that my lens wasn't affected (effected? Holly, you out there? it's Affected, right? because that's the verb?) by those blasted bubbles. Because it was my goodie, my fave, my 55-300. My most prized possession. If that lens is ruined...I don't even want to think about it. I really don't. Why, oh why, did I throw that camera in my stroller? What is WRONG with me?!?!
I have too many kids. That's what's wrong with me. And my husband picked the WRONG boat. But speaking of those little babies, I just love them. And if ya'll know me, you know that's saying something, that I'm talking about how much I love them :) Today, I went to make sure Scott hadn't peed his pants because we were on hour three of naptime and he'd dragged out his quilt the night before because he was cold (the boys' bedding cost almost double what Nick's and mine did. Typical. So I usually keep it folded in the closet and don't let anyone near it) Anyway, he was laying there 'reading' and I was asking him if he had to pee. He looked over the top of his book and said "Mama. Can you stop talking? I'm trying to read."
If you showed him an M a G and an H, he would tell you they were all the same and that they were the letter Q. But he needs me to hush so he can read. I. Love. It. One of the many things I am SO grateful to my own mama for is that she instilled a LOVE (obsession) for reading in me. Mom, if you're reading this, you have no idea how much it means to me that, even though you didn't want me reading Stephen King, you never said I couldn't. She let me read whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. And I can't imagine life without this love (OBSESSION) with reading.
But mom? Remember when you wouldn't let me go see the movie Seven, with Brad Pitt? And instead I went to see Mission Impossible? Well, I lied. We snuck into Seven. And it was so scary, it gave me nightmares for weeks. You were totally right, I wasn't ready for that movie. I'm sorry.
All right. I feel so much better. If you're still reading, phew, why?