Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Weight Check Wednesday

Up another half pound.  I woke up early this morning, worked out, and had all these intentions of finally getting back on track.  Then I went out to eat with Nick, California Pizza Kitchen.  My second favorite restaurant ever, next to Chili's :) I had- hey, I was writing out that I ate thirty nine points and I just realized it was only TWENTY nine! Which, yeah, sure, is my entire daily allotment, but it's WAY better than THIRTY nine for ONE MEAL!!! Man, I'm so happy.  Anyway.  Then after that lunch, since I blew it anyway, I grabbed a jumbo bag of cheetos (eleven points) and went to the movies. My last movie for stand down :( But seriously, five movies in less than two weeks, for a woman with four kids under the age of six? Top that suckers.  Suckas.

Anyway.  That brought my grand total to fifty three points today.  That's a LOT.  And my workout? I get two for that.  Two?!?! Why even bother.

Crap.  I had a piece of cake at Bible study.  Now I have to add that ten points back in.  Thanks a lot Melda!!

Monday, September 26, 2011

Random Updates

I guess I knew that having a ton of kids would mean that I had a big family, but I don’t think I really understood what that would entail.  And, since they’re all still five and under, I’m sure I still don’t fully grasp it.  But today, it sort of hit me.  When I made sandwiches for lunches (just three, not even four, since <obviously> Daisy June doesn’t need a sandwich) and it took half the loaf…when I went to wash towels (I wash all the towels, burp cloths, and dishrags on Tuesdays, I’m such a nerd) and I could just BARELY fit everything into two load in our GIANT commercial sized machines…when I opened a new gallon of milk yesterday at breakfast, and threw away the same gallon today after breakfast…it’s just weird.  I’m probably going to have to go back to work just so we can buy food.

In other news, I finally got my Warren and Daisy June tattoos.  I did my Ava and Scott (on my foot, I'm sure you've seen more than enough of those two) a few weeks after Scott was born, but after I had Warren, I figured why bother, until I was done.  I'm not one of those high-on-the-pain-from-a-tattoo loony tunes.  They hurt.  And the ones on my foot REALLY really hurt, so I was in no hurry to do that again.  But, since she's eight months old and there is no physical way for me to have another baby, I decided to just bite the bullet and get it over with.

We found a really nice shop, if anyone out here is looking for a tattoo place.  Well, nice in that they were nice to me, not nice as in a NICE place.  It was next door to an adult video store, I'm pretty sure there were human trafficking slaves on the porch, and I think I got hepatitis from sitting on the couch in the waiting area.  But like I said, they were all super nice.  I'm not sure if any of you have been in a lot of tattoo shops (I refuse to use the word parlor in ANY situations, let alone in a tattoo situation) but they are usually not anxious to cater to the needs of the average soccer mom.  And I know I tend to look a little more...uptight...than even most soccer moms.  I'm sure when I walked in, they were like, crap, is this lady going to try and get us to buy Girl Scout cookies or something? But once Nick told them I wanted another tattoo too, they were super friendly and helpful and just NICE.  You know how I'm a sucker for people who are nice.

Anyway.  This is what I went with.  It's Hebrew, and it says (fingers crossed) 'my son' up close to my wrist, looking at it from my point of view, and 'my daughter' underneath it.  Which is exactly what I have in kanji on my foot for Ava and Scott.  AND I've had that one verified, so nanny nanny boo boo.

And Nick added the final footprint to his calf.  Maybe I'll snap a pic of it tomorrow.  He's back at work today.  I had to get up before nine thirty, it was really weird.

Speaking of Nick, he finally agreed to do Weight Watchers with me.  It's nice, because it's always easier to eat a banana when your husband isn't sitting next to you on the couch eating an entire box of Whoppers, but it sucks because he gets ninety four thousand points, and he'll still lose four and five pounds a week.  I'm assuming that I'll be gaining this week (since I still haven't stopped eating since Nick got home TWO WEEKS AGO) but hopefully I'll get back into some sort of normalcy this week.  I'm hoping to gain tomorrow, stay the same for next week, then get back into losing at least a pound a week.  My ten-pounds-before-Hawaii is now eleven pounds (suck) and I've got thirteen weeks, so I pretty much have absolutely no wiggle room for gaining. Suck suck suck.

I have decided that soccer was a huge mistake.  HUGE.  The Tuesday and Thursday practices aren't THAT inconvenient, but these Saturday games are BRUTAL.  All caps.  They're only thirty minutes, but it seems like they always start late (and of course, we get there on time) and it's so far away ('so far away' on Guam means twenty five minutes) and it just sucks the ENTIRE Saturday dry.  Last week the game was at two (TWO!!! HELLO NAP TIME!!) and this weeks it's going to be at two forty five!!! That's even worse! AND, when all is said and done, the season will have lasted THREE MONTHS.  That's a long time to go with no Saturdays.

It doesn't help that this is basically all Scott does at the games.  Either this, or sits with me in the sun.

Even when the rest of the team is chasing the ball.
Hey, whatcha'll doing?

Then again, look at this smile!

And the coach felt sorry for me, and let him throw the ball in or whatever.
I am having a TERRIBLE time figuring out how to use my new lens.  I think google may have mislead me when telling me that it was the BEST LENS AVAILABLE.

Ava is a LOT more interested.  It's always hard for me to remember that she's an entire YEAR older than him, so of course, things are different.

But she gets distracted a lot too.  Oy.

Last update: Nick jacked up the computer and all my actions are gone from pse.  AND I can't get a handle on using my new lens, so I'm sorry the pictures suck.  Good thing no one pays me to take pictures.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Weight Check Wednesday

Up one pound.  That silence you hear is the blogworld not being even a tiny bit surprised.  Since Nick has come home (!!!!! I still can't believe he's really here!!!!!) I have eaten everything in sight and the only exercise I've gotten has been...mmm hmm. So. Up a pound.  It's not the end of the world, but it still sucks.  Not getting me any closer to ten pounds by the time we get to Hawaii.  In one hundred and three days.  My clock is off because it's looking like we can't reasonably fly out until the 30th now, instead of the 28th.  Apparently the world isn't interested in calling off Christmas while I get out of this hell hole.

"And call off Christmas!"

Twenty points if you can name that movie :)

I think a few of my friends out here are a little surprised at how LITTLE I have done this last week.  I've been saying for the entire five months that as soon as Nick gets home, I'm done.  I am off the clock.  I told them I wouldn't be lifting a single finger, except for the slim chance that the baby needed ME.  Not needed something, but needed ME specifically.  You know how the littles can be sometimes, where just their mama will do.  But I guess people just thought I was being funny or exaggerating or joking or something.

Idiots.  I LITERALLY have not done a single thing since Thursday afternoon.  Not a one.  I do a little housework, because honestly, without kids hanging on me, I don't mind rinsing up some dishes or picking up some clutter.  And I'm still doing laundry because that's the ONE thing that Nick truly does not want to do.  But other than that? I haven't been out of bed before nine, or given a bath (except for Daisy June) or wiped a butt.  I haven't changed a diaper, grabbed a spanking spoon, brushed a tooth, or put in a pony tail.  I haven't dropped off or picked up from the bus or daycare.

So what have I been doing? Going to the movies and reading Game of Thrones.  That's it.  I saw Contagion (AWESOME) and Warrior (honestly, if you can believe it <you won't> it was one of the top ten movies of all time.  Maybe even top five, but def top seven) and I still want to squeeze in Drive and The Debt.  And that Taylor Lautner movie (don't tell anyone) and the Lion King in 3D.  I'm on book four, A Feast for Crows, but I'm losing some serious steam.  It's getting me down that I can't flip ahead and see if Arya and Jon are alive.  I know it shouldn't matter, but after three thousand pages (and nearly everyone dying) I'm just a little wary. I don't mind if they die (yes I do) but I just want to be prepared, if they do.  I can handle everyone else getting his head lopped off, but not Arya.  And not Jon.  And maybe not Bran, but that wouldn't rock my world like Arya.

So that's basically it.  No pictures, because I haven't taken any.  No updates on the kids because I don't know what they're doing.  I totally was NOT kidding when I said I was off the clock while he's on leave.  Idiots.

Friday, September 16, 2011

My Boyfriend's Back

First up, I have an announcement. I am editing these pictures and typing this post on my (insert the announcer dude from the Price is Right) BRAND NEW TWENTY SEVEN INCH iMAC!!!

You thought I was going to announce that I was pregnant.  Don't lie, you know you did.  You're so stupid. What do you think, I got pregnant last night and magically already found out? It doesn't work like that!! Also, we are one hundred percent finished with adding to Team Engelbrecht.

So, this computer.  I don't think I really realized just how big twenty seven inches was until about four minutes ago when I opened a picture of Daisy June and it was actually BIGGER than Real Life Daisy June.  It is THAT big.  It takes twenty minutes to move the mouse cursor from the top of the screen to the bottom.

BUT, now that I'm finished with that, here's the ACTUAL post.  Nick is home!!! Obviously.

They were supposed to pull in on Saturday (tomorrow, for anyone who gets confused about the day/time difference out here.)  I had the supplies I need to make his favorite cake.  I had outfits in mind for the kids (since we won first hug!!!) and I had craft crapola for them to make him a sign.  I was going to shower on Saturday morning, and shave my legs, change the sheets, pick up my (our) bedroom, just all that bidnazz that you'd do if your husband was coming home after five months at sea.

I got the call at two thirty on Thursday afternoon.  They're here.  They're getting off at four.  Call everyone, and I'll see you there.

Seriously?!?! So, no shower, no cake, no cute signs, no fun outfits.  We just loaded up the van and raced to the pier.  Does Nick look like he minded? :)
Hello, remember me, from five months ago?

So there wasn't a big party on the pier, with water and a tent and the anticipation and all that.  It was NOT missed.  The only thing I was a little bummed about was that we won first hug.  The wives club (the FRG, since we are politically correct now) raffles off tickets for First Hug and First Kiss, and if you win, your Daddy or husband (the Kiss is for wives) gets to be the first and second dude off the boat after the bossman and everyone gets to watch you run up and, uh, greet each other.  SOO, we all figured that it wasn't going to happen since there was very little fanfare, but either the bossman or his lovely wife fixed it so that we could still do it.  HIP HIP HOORAY!!!

I was going to put these in a collage since they're all the same, but when I did that, it shrunk them down and it broke my heart and made me cry, so deal with it.
Ava saw him first.  I hate to admit it, but I have a hard time figuring out who is who out there, because they're all dressed exactly the same.  And I'm a terrible wife.

Little Short Leg Warren finally caught up...

And in the midst off all this emotional reunion crapola, I find it hilarious that Laura caught a shot of his shoe falling.  My new lens is FAST.

Then, even though we didn't win First Kiss, we snuck a quick kiss. Don't tell on us.
I did NOT dress the boys alike on purpose.  Honestly!!!

In case anyone is wondering what it looks like when the boat pulls in (mainly, my dad) here it is.  I have to admit that it wasn't until Nick had been on the Scranton for a year or two that I even knew what those things look like.

I guess it's pretty common for them all to be standing on top of the boat like that.  Here's hoping they're tied up to something.  Nick is on top of the sail (the dorsal-fin sticking way up there) on the far left with the red harness.  I did not know this at the time, he told me when I uploaded the pics.  They really do all look alike out there, and they're pretty far away for someone with my eyesight.  In other news, I wish that fricking yellow frame thingie had NOT been in my way, or that I had noticed it at the time and stepped over two feet.  Idiot.

After the first hug, first kiss crapola, everyone else came out and the kids ran to play in the giant dumpster and Nick got to get his hands on that fat little monkey we call Daisy June.

(On my giant new computer, we haven't magically pulled everything from the laptop over, so I don't have any of my actions for pse.  But let me tell you, once I do, this pic of Daisy June is going to BLOW YOUR MIND.)

Unfortunately, I don't think there's an action in the world that will make me look like a normal person.  That sucks.

 I'll end with this shot.  Ironically, I think that, as far as composition and all that, this is the best shot of the day.  And Ava took it, at my hip, while my camera was hanging down and I wasn't paying her any attention.  AND she was trying to take a shot of the boat behind him.  Whatareyagonnado, right?

So that's our story.  Two days early, five months TO THE DAY since they left, the guys are back.  We are a real family, at least for a little while.  I have no idea what's going to happen with the schedule (they came in early to do some work) and right now, I don't really care.  We're going to make the most of whatever time we have together and deal with tomorrow tomorrow.

And ps, if anyone on the boat is reading this, I took a TON of pictures of everyone hugging and kissing and playing with their kids.  Not pervy pictures, some of them are really cute.  So if you want them, let me know.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Weight Check Wednesday

Stayed the same.  That's three weeks in a row! It sucks, but it's not like I'm all 'oh, I'm hitting a plateau, what should I do, wahh wahh wahh!' because I KNOW what the problem is.  I work out zero days a week and I eat like a fifteen year old boy.  Minus the milk.  So duh, of course I'm not losing.  In fact, I have no idea why I'm not gaining two and three pounds a week.  I'm not being at all sarcastic when I say my eating habits are awful.  I haven't tracked a single bite in the three weeks (makes that twenty bucks a month SUPER worth it!) and if I see something I want, I eat it.  Cookies, chips, fast food, down the hatch.  Rice, bread, peanut butter, bakers chocolate, bring it on.

The worst thing I did this week?  It's disgusting to even remember.  The kids got me all worked up (shocking) so I was crying and missing Nick and hating Guam.  Nothing new there.  So I went in the pantry to eat a bunch of cookies.  Nothing new there either.  BUT...I closed the door.  Not because I was ashamed (kids are dumb, they don't know this is a shameful thing I'm doing) but because I don't want the kids to see that we have cookies and take them.


I think it's pretty obvious that I've gone from having a weight problem to having an emotional issue.

PS This weather isn't helping.  Neither is the fact that I've given up all hope of the next (useless, unnecessary, pointless) underway being cancelled.  So basically, Nick was gone for five months, will be home for two weeks (or less) and will then be leaving again for another month (to do absolutely nothing.) So, in addition to missing the last five months (when they were actually doing a JOB, so even though it was HARD, it was what I signed up for and I'm proud of the work he's doing) he's also going to miss all the soccer games (with is a whole nother post) all this school business with Ava, my pack out, shipping the van, everything.  So yeah, I ate a box of cookies with the door closed.  You're lucky I didn't eat you.

Friday, September 9, 2011

A Day in the Life

Since I love Blue Eyed Bride and want to be JUST LIKE HER (because she is FABULOUS, and I ditched that weirdo KH to spend all my time adoring her instead) I decided to do a Day in the Life post.

First, a few disclaimers.

Number one. I do not play with my kids. Believe it or not, Nick and I put a little thought into this decision. When I was still pregnant with Ava (six long years ago!!!) we thought about it, thought about it, thought about it, and not playing was what we came up with. We have LOTS of brains, Nick and I. Big ole warehouse, full of peas. We knew that we wanted four kids (even way back then) and we knew we wanted them RIGHT NOW. Nick, with his big old Man Brain, probably didn’t understand quite what that meant, but I did. I knew that I would spend the next six years either imprisoned in the recliner feeding an infant (I mean, they need bottles pretty much until they hit one, you know?) or imprisoned on the couch fighting the pregnancy induced exhaustion. So that wouldn’t leave much time to get down on the floor and play.

Plus, that crap is BORING. I knew a woman (who will remain nameless, even though she knows who she is) who CONSTANTLY provided her infant daughter with her undivided attention. And guess what? When that infant grew into a toddler, she wanted her mama’s undivided attention. Same with when she turned into a preschooler, then a grade schooler. NO THANKYOU.

And please, playing with a BABY? Gimme a break. “We worked on his developmental milestons.” Now, of course, if there’s sumpin wrong with your baby and she needs that extra PT/OT intervention, that’s TOTALLY different. But as for me and my house, I put those suckers on the floor, toss a block and a crinkly chewy toy at them, and go on about my day.

Number two. I am a nap Nazi. Do you capitalize Nazi? I think so. I would rather let my house get down to no toilet paper and we’re eating lint from the dryer before I ditch my beloved nap schedule to run to the store. Now, believe it or not, I’m a pretty good planner (thanks Dad!) despite how mess I am, so it never actually comes down to that. I have a pretty substantial stockpile. I’m confident we could hole up in this brick bunker and nap for three weeks straight before I had to leave for some provisions.

Third, I have two different Daily Routines. On Mon, Wed, and Fri, I leave the boys at preschool till two. They nap there (they PRETEND to nap there) then come home and stay up till bedtime. On Tue and Thur, I pick them up at twelve and bring them home to nap here. So this post is a Day in the Life on a Thursday, so it’s a little different than it would be on another day. And the weekends…suck. When Nick is gone, the weekends just SUCK, there’s no way around that.

All right, anyone still there? Here we go.

0530 I get up at the butt crack of dawn. I can’t believe it either. I have to be up before the kids, or else it just throws a wrench in my ENTIRE day. I have no idea why, it just does. It makes me FURIOUS if they’re up before me. Mainly because they break into the pantry and get out a bunch of junk food and stuff their faces. If Nick were here, I would NOT get up at five thirty, are you KIDDING me? Because he gets up at like four (because he’s a wacko) so he could beat their butts when they tried to sneak in there. Anyway, I usually unload the dishwasher, make bottles, finish lunchboxes, start a load of laundry, and then get on facebook if no one is still up.

0600-0730 Do NOT ask me how our morning routine could possibly take ninety minutes. It just does. I get every cereal or oatmeal or frozen waffles, cups of milk, all that crap, then I climb into my prison (I HATE that recliner!!!) and feed Daisy June a bottle. Please, do not remind me that one day soon I will have to feed her a bowl of oatmeal too. Please. I can’t even bear thinking about it. Then I have to get Warren dressed, yell at the bigs until they get dressed, brush their teeth (I have to admit, I do not ALWAYS make sure they brush their teeth. I know, I know…) and do Ava’s hair. I also try to make myself either a spinach smoothie or some microwave sausage, to tide me over until lunch. I’m not a breakfast eater, but I don’t like to be starving by lunch. I also get dressed (‘dressed’ meaning yoga pants and a tee shirt to cover my hiney) and put on some mascara and concealer. I’ve pretty much given up on ever being able to do my hair again. Sigh.

0730-0830 We all head down the street to walk Ava to the bus stop at seven thirty, then trudge back to the van to head to preschool. Takes twenty minutes to get there, then I usually spend at least ten minutes kissing and talking and letting Scott show me the same piece of paper or crayon that he showed me yesterday. Then twenty minutes to get back. Except for my cleaning lady comes on Thursdays and I basically have to stay away until twelve thirty or so, so I head over to Asan beach to walk for thirty minutes.

0900-1200 After I get all nasty walking, I pack up poor Daisy and head to the commissary. Now, on any day but Thursday, I would go straight from preschool to the house and have her in her crib for her first nap by nine at the LATEST, then work out at home, either on my elliptical, or with a strength-training video. Thursdays is the ONLY day I tame the Nap Nazi. It usually takes me an hour in the commissary (I’m a VERY slow shopper. I like to take my time. I have a lot of time, so who cares?) then I head over to the NEX. (Guam sucks. If I have to be out of the house all morning, I basically have two options, the commissary or the NEX. I hate it here. I want to go to Target!! I want to be able to run NORMAL errands!!!) I save ALL my gotta-gets for Thursdays, so if my list is long, I’ll transfer all my cold goods to my thirty one insulated bag thingie and pray that nothing spoils while I’m in there. If I have time, after the NEX I’ll run by the house and throw the bag in the garage fridge, but a lot of times I just go straight to the school and hope the AC helps out a little.

1230-1400 After we get home, I feed the boys (even though they JUST ate at school!) and then they can play until about one fifteen. THEY can play. I do NOT play with them. I will read to them, I will get crayons and papers down, I will HELP them with anything they need. But I do NOT play with them. I try to feed Daisy June a jar of baby food during this time, get her dressed if she’s still in her jammies (which she always is) and then let her play around on the floor.
 I only interact with her when she makes eye contact. Does that make me sound so terrible? I just need her to be able to entertain herself! If she looks for me, and makes it a point to look AT me, I coo and bable and do all that loving crapola. She is NOT being neglected!!! Then the boys get to watch a thirty minute show while I feed her a bottle and put her down, then I put them down too.

1400-1600 Nap time is catch up for me. I get a shower, start dinner, play on the computer, watch tv, pick up (some days) email Nick- anything I can squeeze in there. It’s a little different now because I get Ava off the bus at three, and I want to spend time with her since it’s rare to have just me and her time, but whatever. I do what I can, I guess. I used to scrapbook during naptime, but I haven't opened my scrapping supplies since long before Daisy June was born.

1630-1715 The boys get up slowly, we eat a little bit of the dinner, then get ready for soccer on Tuesdays and Thursdays. They’re usually pretty cranky after naps, but perk up after they eat and start playing. Scott is DELIGHTED every day when he gets up and Ava is back, so they usually spend most of this time in Ava’s room playing with stickers. They think they’re doing it in secret, that I don’t know about it, but come on. I’m the mama, I know everything. Luckily for them, I don’t care, so they can play to their hearts’s content. I have to wake Daisy June up around five and get her loaded up, then we head to Big Navy for soccer practice. The bigs practice while Warren plays on the playground and I feed Daisy June and either read or chat with some of the other moms there.

1830-2000 After soccer, we race home, eat another dinner, then hurry up and shower off, get our jammies on, and read books. Again, not sure HOW this takes ninety minutes, but it definitely does. Every single time. Well, it takes fifteen minutes just to get home, so that’s part of it.

2000 I give Daisy June a bath, feed her her last bottle, and get her in bed. If everyone is not in bed between eight and eight thirty, I will cease to function. It’s a very strange, but very real, phenomenon. 

Then watch tv while I fold laundry and clean during commercials. I have ALWAYS done it this way, and it drives Nick CRAZY. He would rather just clean all at once, then sit down and watch tv and fast forward through the commercials. First of all, I can no longer sit still for an hour straight. I just can’t do it. Second of all, cleaning for fifteen minutes straight SUCKS, but cleaning for three minutes at a time, five times during a show, is NOT a big deal. I mean, in one commercial break, I can get the dishwasher loaded and started. In another one, I can pack lunches. In the next one, I can clear the island. (Side note, that island is the bane of my existence. It is ALWAYS full of crap. Always. I hate it, hate it, hate it. Sometimes, I’ll just push every single thing on it into a trash bag and throw it all out. Ugh.) Then I put away the kids’ laundry, stack mine in the glider in my room, and get tomorrow’s load ready.

If Nick is home, we’ll usually watch TV or a movie until around ten, but since he’s never here, I usually only watch until nine or so, then get in bed and read. I love love love to read in bed. Who knows. It’s just something I love to do. I usually try to stay up till eleven, unless I’m just exhausted. For some reason, when I go to sleep at ten, I’m usually dragging the next day. It’s weird.

Then I get up and start all over. It’s like Groundhog Day!!!

So, now it’s your turn! Do a Day in YOUR Life post, then leave the link it a comment so I can see what you’re up to. I don’t know why I find all these posts so fascinating. I guess there’s an inner voyer in me (but not a gross one!!!) and I just LOVE to get a little glimpse into my favorite bloggers’ lives. Seriously, every time I come across one, I just eat it up. So get going!!!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

First Day of Kindergarten!!! (and Weight Check Wednesday)

Stayed the same.  Ugh.  On to the good stuff!!

I barely slept at all, and I got up at five.  FIVE.  Even though I'd already packed everyone's lunch, the house was as picked up as it ever gets, and I certainly wasn't planning a workout.  Five o'clock.  In the morning.  Leaving me two hours and forty one minutes to fill.

So naturally, by the time we finally got out the door, we were running late.  Of COURSE we were.  I knew it was humid (it's Guam) so I stuck my camera in the garage to try and let the lens fog up and then clear.  WEEEELLLL, apparently the garage is not as humid as the actual outside, because even twenty minutes later, my lens was still foggy!!! And, I might add, I am still waiting for my 50mm lens I ordered FIVE WEEKS ago from Ritz camera and paid forty dollars for express shipment.  There was no other option.  So, do me a favor and boycott Ritz with me ladies!!!

But there she is, getting ready for kindergarten.  So so so so so sweet.  The uniform at McCool is khaki shorts, pants, or skirts, and either a navy blue or white polo shirt.  Well, Engelbrechts don't wear white, so this is what Ava will be wearing for the next four months.  I wished with all my heart that my school had used uniforms when I was in it, and I still to this day think it's absurd that ALL public schools don't enforce a uniform policy.  Does that make me sound like a communist? I don't care.  I think it just makes good sense.  It's also a moot point (you know, like a cow's opinion) because we do plan on using private schools whenever we can, and I certainly will not PAY for my kids to go to a school without a strict uniform policy, so I guess I don't care what public schools do.  So there.

You never saw a boy want to go to school so bad in your entire life, I guarantee it.  I cannot think of a time in the last four and a half years (Scott's entire life for those of you with my sort of math skillz) that Ava and Scott have NOT been together.  They went to the same babysitter when I was active duty, they went to the same preschools in VA and CT, and they went together to Tender Shepherd.  They take their swim classes together, they're in the same Sunday school class, and they're on the same soccer team.  I think they think they're twins.  They practically ARE, but I think this will be good for Ava.

Scott? Not so much.

She finally got sick of me taking pictures.  At this time, I had only taken seventy four.  That's NOT that many!!

The bus stop is two doors down.  In the direct sunlight (or rain) with narry a palm tree in sight for shade. There are about five little sheltered bus stops in the neighborhood, but as far as I know, the bus doesn't stop at any of them.  Yet another reason to admire Guam's stellar way of doing business.  "Sure, we're the Navy! We LOVE to spend money, put it on my tab!!! Don't bother covering that playground, just build a new one RIGHT NEXT to it, and cover that one instead!!! HAHAHAHA!!!" Your tax dollars ladies and gentlemen.  Get those letters going to your congressmen!!!

But first look at all these big kids.  Right on my street! I have NEVER seen a single child playing outside up on my part of the neighborhood.  Does every single one of these kids pictured here spend all his or her time inside playing video games? Is that what it's really like nowadays? That's horrifying.

And then the bus showed up.

And THEN it drove away, with my baby inside of it!!! I felt like a giant monster had come over and eaten my baby and then ran away.  It made me literally sick to my stomach!!!

So I ran to the van, raced to the base, kidnapped my friend Libby (thanks Libby!!!) to sit in the car with the rest of the kids, and hauled ass into Ava's classroom.

By the way, this is the hall leading to her room.  See all these big kids walking around?!?!? What the hell?!?!?! Get those kids away from my baby!!!

So I burst into her class, with all the other moms.  At first she didn't see me.  Then, when she did see me, she was all 'Oh, hey Ma, wassup?' Like it was NO BIG DEAL.  That was the worst part, I felt like I'd been punched right in the nuts.  You know, if I had them.
She let me snap a few more pictures, then didn't notice when I said goodbye and left.  See how her frog on her cubby just says Ava? That's because she's the only Ava in her class!!! I guess Ava didn't get super duper popular until she was about two, so we might be safe.  After spending my entire life as Jennifer Z, to set me apart from the five other Jennifers in every single classroom, I put a LOT of consideration into naming her.  Ava was number 54 on the social security's popularity list for 2004, when I was looking for her name in mid 2005.  By 2010, I think it was either three or four.  Makes me want to BARF!!!

On a different tangent, see how she's sitting across from someone named Evan? (I feel like I should block his last name, but I don't want to, so just don't look at it.) Well, back before I had kids, when I was stupid, I thought it would be fun to have boy-girl twins, and I wanted to name them Ava and Evan.  Wouldn't that have been cute?!?!

What? So cute it makes you want to barf? Well who asked you?

Anyway.  That's our story.  Our first day of kindergarten.  Now I need to work on getting her into a school in Hawaii, apparently it's a little bit of a struggle.  And then we can take more picture in January and pretend we're doing the whole thing over again!!!

Monday, September 5, 2011


Ya'll.  You are not going to BELIEVE the thoughts that ran thru my head today.  I barely believe them, and it was MY head they were floating thru!! Brace yourself.  So.  I was driving down our little hill today, and from our neighborhood, you can see the harbor, waaaay out on the horizon.  It's far, but it IS breathtaking, I will give that to the Crappiest Base Housing Neighborhood in the History of Ever.  The water here is nothing short of stunning, there's no other way to describe it.

So, I'm driving down my hill, looking out at that endless water, heading to the beach, which is less than five minutes away and, quite frankly, the best beach on the entire planet, and, completely out of the blue, something in my little head says "Huh. I'm really gonna miss this."

Slam on the brakes.  Deep cleansing breaths.  SAY WHAT?!?!

Then I thought it again!!! "Seriously, don't you think? I'm going to actually miss this.  We're TOTALLY surrounded by this BREATHTAKING water, you know? I mean, hello! You decided at nine forty five that you wanted to go to the beach, and you'll be sitting in a lawn chair with your four kids by ten after ten.  Who else on this entire planet can say that?"

Get out of my head you freaking traitor!! We hate it here!!!

"We don't hate it HERE.  We hate your husband's lame ass job on the Worst Boat in the History of Ever.  What's so bad about Guam?"

Are you kidding? What's NOT so bad about Guam?!?!

"Well, the beach, for starters.  The sunsets.  The endless summer.  The great friends.  The beach.  The endless summers.  The Best Preschool in the History of Ever.  The beach.  The weather.  The endless tan.  The beach.  The fact that you NEVER once had to worry about it dropping below seventy five."

Shut up, I hate you.  Leave me alone.

"Seriously.  You're about to move to Hawaii, do you know if there are any beaches nearby? Can you park nine feet from the water? Is the water ALL shallow, and perfectly clear?"

It's Hawaii!!! Don't you watch tv? It's gorgeous there!!!

"I'm just saying. You've got a good thing going here.  Don't be so quick to turn your back on this and tell everyone how much you hated it here."

Huh.  I guess you're right.

"Of course I'm right.  I'm you.  And you're ALWAYS right."

That's a good point, Present Jenn.  You're so clever.

So there you have it.  To my complete and total surprise, I realized that I don't hate it here.  And, in The Worse Boat in the History of Ever's SLIGHT defense, we weren't as stupid as I make us out to be sometimes.  I mean, duh, we knew being a department head on a fast attack was going to suck balls, we weren't born yesterday.  We just didn't think that they'd tell us they were going out for six weeks and then keep them out for five months.  I'm just looking for a little honesty, you know? Don't lie to a woman, just tell her the truth!! I would have MUCH preferred to hear "Yes, we'll be keeping them out for an entire deployment.  And we'll keep them dark for most of that, so don't expect any email." Then I would have adjusted my plans accordingly and gone about my day.

BUT, that's not the point.  I'm not trying to rag on the boat anymore, I'm just telling ya'll that the weirdest thing happened to me today.  So there you go.

PS We stayed at the beach for five hours.  All five of us are burnt, and exhausted, and giddy, and salty and sandy even though we've all had two showers.  I just love Gab Gab Beach!!!

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Friday Photo Dump (but on Saturday)

Let me start this post by saying that while the boys were on the computer facetiming with Nick a few minutes ago, they took my sd card out of the little slot, took it outside, and stuck it down the storm drain. I have NO way of getting it back, and there's a picture on there that somehow got botched in pse and now it's formatted wrong or something and I can't open it anywhere and fix it. So, I'm out a hundred dollar sd card (we got a super awesome one when I got my first new camera) and I hate my kids.

When I say that I am done with this underway (deployment, I don't care what you say) I am deadly serious. If this next one (less than TWO WEEKS after they get home from being gone FIVE MONTHS!!) does not get cancelled or delayed, I'm going to burn someone's house down. Not sure who yet, but I'll figure it out, trust me.

In other news, I hate my new camera. I should have splurged on the D90 because I'm just going to end up buying it later anyway, then I'll be out the money for this pos D5000 anyway. I can't get it to focus EVER and I think it just takes crappy pictures in general. Stupid bubbles!!! AND I ordered an AWESOME lens on August 4th. I paid forty dollars for express 'international' shipping (using a priority mail flat rate box to ship to Guam is the SAME PRICE as shipping to your next door neighbor people!!) and I am STILL WAITING. The company refunded twenty dollars of those shipping fees. So, for twenty dollars, I'm still waiting, twenty nine days later (it shipped on Aug 5th!) when for eleven dollars, I could have had it in seven days priority. I cannot STAND it when companies claim to ship here, then fuck everything up!!! Just say you're an asshole and you don't ship to Guam and go on about your business. I mean, don't you LEARN things in business school?!?! I don't get it!!!

I am SO frustrated. I hate the weekends in general, and this is a three day weekend, and Ava's done with preschool so she's been hanging out with me since Wednesday, and Scott didn't put SHOES on before school yesterday, so he couldn't even stay. I feel like I'm in an episode of Seinfeld or something!!! Except it's not funny!!

And Nick is in port so he can call, but I'm so pissed about this next underway (that is COMPLETELY not his fault!!) that every time I see him or talk to him on the phone, I either start yelling or crying. It's awful!! I've done nothing but eat Nilla Wafers and cheezeits for the past four days, it's horrifying. I honestly don't know if I can take another (fill in the blank with how much longer I have, which isn't THAT long, but feels IMPOSSIBLE.)

So, that's my story. I hate everyone and everything. I'm about five minutes away from shipping Scott off to one of those military training schools. He used to be my favorite, but today, I can barely stand to look at him, I am THAT pissed about the camera card. Not to mention Ava starts school on Wednesday and I can't take a single picture without the card, but I can't go to the store with my kids to get a new one!!! AAAAAUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!

Here's the pictures.

The other day at the beach with Laura and her kiddos...
I hate this camera.

Laura caught a huge crab.  Gross!!
Scott, before he became The Child Who Was Shunned.  Don't let that smile fool you, Scott SUCKS!!

Is he exercising? Your guess is as good as mine...

He sucks too, I'm sure it was his idea to put the card in the drain...

She's the only sweet one.

Have I mentioned how much I hate this camera? What the hell is it trying to focus on?!?!

What could have been a sweet, amazing shot...ruined by the Crappiest Camera on the Block.

Along with everything and everyone, I hate laundry.  I do laundry every. Single. Day.  I used to do it once a week, when I had my big machine, and before Daisy.  Now, I do it every day.  You'd think there'd be less per load, doing it every day, but there's not.  There's this much, every single day.  Plus sheets, towels, and blankets.

Here is a perfect example of why I hate this camera.  Everything is washed out, grainy, and unfocused.  Every single thing.  I hate it!!

I can only use actions to make it sepia ish so often people!!! I can't have an entire album full of sepia ish photos!!

Daisy June met Daisy June the other day.  She LOVES her!! She thinks she's GORGEOUS.  She spends hours, literally HOURS, looking at herself in the mirror.  Hours.

So that's my story.  Welcome to the suckiest weekend in the history of ever.  I'm either going to go sob in the shower, or scream at the boys and beat their butts.  Haven't decided yet.