Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Weight Check Wednesday

Up half a pound.  I'm devastated.  I actually cried this morning when I got on that scale. No, of course this isn't my first gain.  But I worked my ass off this week!!! I tracked EVERY SINGLE BITE that I put in my mouth.  I worked out EVERY DAY except Saturday.  I ate a cup of cabbage for breakfast every day people!!! CABBAGE!!!

Please, don't leave me comments like "Hang in there, muscle weighs more than fat, smiley face parenthesis!!" Or "Maybe you need to eat MORE so your body doesn't think you're starving, smiley face parenthesis!" I know y'all love me, and are trying to make me feel better, but those comments are LITERALLY like a knife to the gut. I don't know why.  I've been doing this for SO LONG, I know all the tricks.  I know what fatties tell themselves to try and make themselves feel better.  I know weight loss takes time and it's a lifestyle, not a diet, and more than ANYTHING, I know that I just shouldn't have gained seventy pounds with each pregnancy.

But knowing all that? Doesn't make me feel that much better.  I'm sort of thinking that maybe this is my new normal.  Some people are just fat, right? They just walk around, being fat, living their lives.  Maybe that's me now.  A fatty. Maybe I should just give in and accept it?

My goal of 158 by Hawaii (how do you like THAT, Past Jenn?!?! Ever dreamed a weight loss GOAL would be one fifty eight!?!?! YOU SUCK!!! STOP EATING SNICKERS!!!) is all but impossible now.  It's eleven pounds, and I'm leaving in about eight weeks.  So that'd be a pound and a half a week, no gains.  And we've got Thanksgiving and Christmas, and we're having Prime Rib for both.  So that's TWO mini goals, both easily attainable and reachable, that I will not have made.

This isn't fair.  Being a grownup sucks.  I can't even wallow on the couch in self pity because my stupid kids don't care, they want all this annoying crap like FOOD and HELP WITH THE POTTY and CLEAN DISHES and DRY CLOTHES.  Ugh.

4 comments:

  1. I used to love WW but it just wasn't working for me as I got older... I started doing the Paleo diet and I LOVE LOVE LOVE it. No rice, grains, dairy, sugars or anything besides meat, veggies and fruit and nuts. It sounds crazy but basically our bodies don't burn complex carbs like grains naturally. I don't limit myself, eat however much I want just stay away from the no-no foods. First day or two is always tough for me to get off my sugar addiction but I love it. And I love those Larabars (my one a day snack)
    My problem with WW was that I always ate my points but I spent them on crap diet foods and 100 calorie packs instead of FOOD that would actually fill me up.
    Anyways there is my manifesto on my insane new eating plan but I lost 5lbs in 3 weeks doing it and I wasn't getting my sugar highs/lows like I always do.

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  2. I agree with you...I am beginning to think that my heavier weight is my new normal. I know lean and fit is POSSIBLE because those women (and many older than us) are everywhere. Just haven't figured it out.

    As much as reading your blog makes me want to try to encourage you because it's obvious your road has been rough in recent years, I won't. Because I too want to spit nails sometimes when people try to lift me up.

    Instead...I'll just say keep looking forward to Hawaii and the change you've been waiting for. it's SO CLOSE now! And prayerfully it'll be a much better experience all around. Hey, it's got Target and breezes so there's two pluses right there!

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  3. I am right there with you...literally within a couple pounds! After my first pregnancy, the weight peeled right off. This time? I'm still 20 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight. I actually GAINED weight while on WW. I quit and now I've been just eating whole, real foods. No counting points, nothing. No HFCS, no funky chemicals or additives, organic when possible, it's not as hard as I thought. I'm FINALLY starting to lose a few pounds too! DH is on the Primal Diet and loves it-for the first time in years, he hasn't sweated the PRT or weigh in. It's big on meat and I'm not a big meat eater, but I've found it's been easy to incorporate into our lifestyle regardless. His weight has also come off slowly, but it's been steady.

    The other day I was around a bunch of (skinny) moms and they were complaining on how they had such a hard time keeping weight off even though they ran 8 miles...I was trying to suck my gut in during the whole conversation. Sigh.

    I know you didn't ask for advice on new eating plans, but I just wanted you to know you're not alone.

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  4. i won't encourage you. this truly does S*CK! i'm sorry. i say look into paleo!

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