Thursday, November 10, 2011

You Can't Win

So. How big a cliche is it that I drive around in my minivan, taking my kids to soccer, listening to Kelly Clarkson? The only thing that would make it worse would be if I was drinking a sugar free Red Bull or one of those Starbucks drinks with the funny lid that's sort of like a bottle nipple.  Does it lend me any cred that I also have a lot of Eminem and Pink Floyd on my iPod? Or does that just make me even MORE of a tool?

I can't help it, I like Kelly Clarkson.  I like songs that I can sing to.  I mean, I worship Adele as much as the next gal, but sometimes I like my music to pep me up, not make me want to stick my head in the oven, you know?

I feel naked.  I can't believe I just admitted that I like Kelly Clarkson.

I just can't fight it anymore.  Trying to be cool in junior high and high school was EXHAUSTING, now that I'm pushing thirty (I just threw up typing that) it's just inconceivable for me to try and keep up.

INCONCEIVABLE!

Name that movie.  And give me fourteen points because I spelled it right on the first try.

Back to trying to be cool, when I was in the eighth grade (right before I met my soul mate Angle A) I once threw out two of my FAVORITE cds (Crossroads by Bon Jovi and August and Everything After by the Counting Crows- I'll NEVER forget this) because I heard my best friend's sister making fun of them.

Now tell me, in that situation, who's the tool?  Those cds cost me a small fortune, and I just tossed them, for fear of someone cool discovering that I had them.  Nevermind the simple fact that no one was ever in my room, riffling through my cd collection...ugh.  I hate my past self so much sometimes.

Anyway.  All this to say, there's this song on the new Kelly Clarkson cd (I should call it an album, since it's not a physical cd anymore.  Do they make cds? I don't even know.  I remember last year, when the new Taylor Swift album came out right before Ava's bday, I took her to the NEX to buy it.  And they didn't have it.  Because they don't have ANYTHING. So I can't judge by that whether or not people still manufacture cds.  If they do, they don't ship them here.)

Where was I? Oh yeah, the song.  Let me just go copy and paste the lyrics.  It's like the ballad for motherhood these days.  While I am incredibly fortunate to have a small circle of female friends who do not feel the need to compete with everyone about EVERYTHING, I see and feel this song EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

Hang on.  Daisy June is being super cute and I need to google how to take a pic of her with the laptop so I can show you.

She stopped being cute before I figured it out, so you'll just have to take my word for it.  SUPER cute.

Here's the lyrics.

If you go, they'll say your following
If you don't, then your too good for them
If you smile, you must be ignorant
If you don't, whats your problem
If your down, so ungratefull
And if your happy, why so selfish?
You cant win no you cant win no

The one who doesn't quit fit in
Underdresses under your skin
Oh a walking disaster
Everytime you try to fly you end up fallin
Out of line
Oh you can't
You can't win no



If your thin, call it a walkin disease
If your not, there all screamin obbease
If your straight, why aren't you married yet?
If your gay, why aren't you waving a flag?
If its wrong, you'll never hit
If its right, you'll always miss
You cant win no you can't win no

The one who doesn't quit fit in
Underdressed, under your skin
Oh a walking disaster
Everytime you try to fly you end up fallin
Out of line
Oh you can't
You can't win no



And you try you try so hard
But I swear it on your heart
And you play you play the game
But you pay you pay for it
You can't win no you cant win no
If you speak, you'll only piss them off
If you don't, your another robot
If you stop, they'll just say you quit
If you don't, you might lose your sh..
You can't win no you cant win no
You can't win no



The one who doesn't quit fit in
Underdressed, under your skin
Oh a walking disaster
Everytime you try to fly you end up fallin
Out of line
Oh you cant
You can't win no

I can't win




I especially like the one about the smile.  If you smile, you're a loser, if you DON'T smile, you're a bitch.  Is it just Guam? I know it's not, because I read a TON of blogs.  This competition is EVERYWHERE.  And it's stupid.

Anyway.  Those are my deep thoughts of the day.  And that's how Sue....sees it.  Engelbrecht out.

I had to type ENGELBRECHT three times before I got it right. Oy.

5 comments:

  1. You crack me up! I admit that I listen to Britney Spears in my car and sing at the top of my lungs. And not that new techno Britney stuff, but the '99 to '02 Britney. That may have been okay when I was 18.....now I am a loser.

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  2. So I also admit that I love kelly clarkson and just want you to know you are not alone and I can relate! I love everything you had to say about just trying to fit it I was the same way and actually I still struggle with that today. I want to fit in so bad but am a social recluse lol. I have a hard time making new friends bc I think what if they don't like me what if they reject me. I hate being hurt and its not fun so I just try and avoid it at all cost! Its funny bc just before I left my house this morning I saw the video for this song you speak of and this was my first time hearing it. I got choked up and tears came to my eyes I as listened to the lyrics bc I knew exactly what she was talking about.

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  3. you're not a loser...you're only a loser if you care if someone calls you a loser

    how's that for a deep thought

    the high school drama of fitting in never dies unfortunately...you just have to decide to not give a s**t. sometimes i'm good about it and sometimes not...oh well!

    have a lovely day...wish i was pushin thirty rather than being in my thirties ha

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  4. Count me a loser since I didn't even know Kelly Clarkson wasn't cool. I love her! Plus, I am so nervous that you trashed a Counting Crows cd. I love the counting crows--always have!

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  5. But wait, no one guessed that the line was from "The Princess Bride"... They just had a reunion on one of the talk shows and I almost teared up watching it!

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