Tuesday, May 1, 2012


-I am in a full fledged FUNK over here.  I'm bored and lonely and angry and overwhelmed and I don't feel good.  My weight loss journey is basically over.  I haven't actually lost weight since September.  That's just putting me in a BAD mood.  I can't get a handle on my time management, and that's making me feel like a total failure as a human being.  For instance, it's currently ten twenty.  I have to pick Scott up at twelve thirty.  I have a few things I need to return to the NEX.  Yet another reason I prefer to ONLY shop at Target- Target opens at eight, so I can go right in after I drop Scott off.  The NEX doesn't open till nine, so I have to go home first.  So today we came home, and Daisy fell asleep, and she's just now starting to wake up.  But for me, I can't handle the fact that I have to pick Scott up at twelve thirty.  The NEX is ON THE WAY.  Literally, it's ON the street I take to get to preschool.  Even if I have to park in the way back, it shouldn't take me more than fifteen minutes to park, get out, get in, do my returns, and get back to the car.

But I can't go.  I'm like frozen in terror at the idea of being late to get Scott.  And it's not like the preschool incinerates in a ball of nuclear fire at twelve thirty, you know? But still.  It's hanging over me, and I can't function.

I read this blog the other day (speaking of which, I need some new blogs to read.  Any suggestions?) Anyway, this was a day in the life post.  This gal gets up at five (so do I) drives to Jazzercise, works out, comes home, showers, makes breakfast, packs lunches, gets her two boys dressed, and gets out the door at seven thirty.

I'm sorry, what?

Did I read that correctly?

Ugh.  It doesn't help that my children take forty minutes-LITERALLY- to eat a fucking bowl of cereal and drink a glass of milk.  DRIVES. ME. CRAZY.  You have no idea.  Sometimes, it gets so bad that I have to set the timer for five minutes and say that if the milk isn't gone before it dings, he's getting a spanking.

This is NOT the way I want our mornings to start!!!

It also does not help that I can't seem to get my showers under twenty minutes.  I have very short hair, and I never shave.  But still, it takes me twenty minutes.  I just stand there.  Literally.  I just stand in the shower like a woman with no kids.  I always have, and I'm starting to worry that I always will.

Today is bathroom cleaning day, and guess what? I'll bet you a ZILLION dollars that I can't find time to do it.  Ugh.

I just want to cry.

-This weekend we're going to the Disney Resort, courtesy of Grandpa Kenny.  It better be sunny.  And please God, let the water be at least a little warm.  We went to the water park last weekend and it was so fucking cold that Warren and Scott wouldn't even get in, and Ava walked around with blue lips the entire time (an hour) that we were there.  This isn't fair!!! I mean, hello, isn't this supposed to be Hawaii? Why is the water so cold?!?!

I just want to cry.

But I have high hopes.  It's May for heaven's sake, certainly the water will be warm.  It will.  I just know it.  It's going to be perfect.  It has to be.

I'm counting on this weekend to officially pull me out of this funk.  Seriously.

-Nick just booked our trip to the Big Island!! Other than the two nights I spent in the hospital to deliver Daisy (hard) and the two nights we spent in the Lodge moving here (worst two nights of my life) I haven't left my 'home' for more than a few hours at a time since March of 2010.  And now, in the next three weeks, we are going on TWO vacations!!!  I'm beyond excited.

But too overwhelmed by the prospect of walking all the way up the stairs to get the baby to google "fun things to do on the Big Island" right now.  Ugh.

I just want to cry.

-Blogger is pissing me off.  And don't say "switch to wordpress" because I don't actually even know what that means.  I like to type up my posts ahead of time.  I usually plan my week on Friday, and then I do my menu plan post that afternoon.  And I like to work on the A&J Tackle PW posts all the time.  But now Blogger eats all my drafts!! I'll type something up, hit save, go on about my business, and when I get back, it's gone.

What give?!?!  It makes me want to cry!!!

-Notice the lack of pictures lately? I haven't taken my camera out of the closet basically since Grandpa Kenny left.  In March.

It's depressing.

I just want to cry.


That's all I got.  This is why I haven't post in forever, this funk is eating away my soul and turning me into a bitter ball of angst and depression.

Thanks for joining me!!

1 comment:

  1. check your facebook messages...i'm about to send you one!