Saturday, June 2, 2012

Brain Dump

-So you know how everyone is all about the eyelash curler? Well, I want to be like everyone, so I got one, and I use it faithfully every single day.  But I don't get it.  What exactly does it do? Besides, obviously, curling my eyelashes? Because I don't notice much of a difference.  At all.

Semi-related to eyelashes, I am wearing green eyeshadow today, as opposed to my usual beige and light brown.  I feel like a prostitute.

-Is anyone watching Girls on HBO? I started watching it today.  This morning.  My kids were upstairs destroying my house and I just sort of sat on the couch drinking two pots of coffee and watching the first few episodes.  I really liked them, but it might have just been that I was in a good mood and having a good time.  I've perfected my coffee, I know exactly how to make it JUST RIGHT and really, I sort of feel like I could have been watching a show about fishing and as long I was drinking that coffee, I would have liked it.

It seems good.  Normally, I don't like things that are all uber trendy and hip and cool.  Because I'm not.  And I can't relate to those characters.  But the main girl is sort of fat, and not that pretty, and they all seem just a little poor.  And they sort of seem surprised that life isn't like Sex and the City.  I dunno, it's hard to describe, but there's something that I really like about it.

If you do watch it, pleas tell me I'm not Shoshawna or however she spells it.  I'm leaning towards Marne because she's so uptight, but please please PLEASE tell me I'm not Shoshawna.  Please.

And btw, when she tells her mom, deadly serious, that she just needs eleven hundred dollars a month for the next two years, I almost wet my pants.  I can just IMAGINE the look on my mother's face if I said that to her!!! And she was SERIOUS!! AND she expected her mother to say sure!!!

-So I hesitate to bring this up because I don't want to curse myself by talking about it, but this morning (while I was ignoring them and drinking coffee and watching wholly-inappropriate-for-am-viewing-with-children-in-the-house Girls) Scott cleaned the entire playroom.  And he did a good job.

It was weird.

When he brought me up to show me, I cried a little.

Is this my life? Not now, I'm sure this was a fluke, but maybe in a few years? Kids playing and entertaining themselves and cleaning their messes WITHOUT PROMPTING?

If so, I can't wait.  It's gonna be so awesome.  Seriously.

-I went to the beach yesterday and had a blast.  I mean, a BLAST.  It was so fun, my kids were amazing, they just played for four hours straight.  And then came home and fell into a three hour coma while I watched Law and Order and didn't clean the house.

Remember when I was talking about how I think the zoloft is helping? Well, after I got home from the beach and had such a great time, now I know it's helping.  And I'm a little sad because I feel like, if only I'd asked for help sooner, I could have been happy these last few years instead of miserable.

I knew I had issues with anxiety.  I knew it wasn't normal to be SO nervous.  But I never believed, until yesterday, that I was depressed.  Never.

It was weird, to realize that.

Anyway.  I feel better now, and of course, that's what I need to focus on, right? Point being, I had a blast at the beach and I can't wait to go back.

Watch, next time we go, my kids will be assholes.

-Today is day four of summer vacation.  At the same time, it's both not as bad and worse than I thought it would be.  Tuesday and Wednesday, I stuck to a pretty strict routine, but still, but four in the afternoon I was getting pretty...pick your word.  Mad? Short tempered? Bored? Insane?  Any one of those will do.  Thursday we went to the beach and slept all day, and today I just let them do whatever they wanted and didn't follow any sort of routine at all.  The idea of trying to figure this out over the next seven weeks makes me cringe.

-Luckily, my mama will be in six days!!!  She's staying till July 5th, and then I'll only have three weeks left!! Ava goes back to school July 30, isn't that crazy?!?! And Scott starts the next week.  Wow.  So weird that I'll have two kids in real school.

-That's all I got.  Engelbrecht out.

1 comment:

  1. I'm catching up here. SO glad you feel better. SSRIs FTW!