Friday, November 9, 2012

Stream of Consciousness. But in Bullet Format, Because I Can't Handle Run On Paragraph Form

-Have ya'll seen this app?
It's called Lickety Split or something along those lines and it is AMAZEBALLS.  I'm sure you're no stranger to the fact that sometimes, using a timer makes things with kids run a little more smoothly.  But MY kids are afraid of the loud DING at the end of the egg timer.  And of cats.  And of plastic walmart bags blowing through the yard that LOOK like cats.  But anyway.  You tell this thing two minutes, and it plays neat music, getting louder and faster as it counts down.  We haven't missed a time yet, so I don't know what happens if you run out of time before you finish, but I bet it's cool, and I bet it's not as terrifying as the DING of the egg timer.  You can use preset things like brush teeth or get ready, or just tell it two minutes, or use it to time how long it takes to clean up, then remember it and see if they can beat that time next time.

Sounds confusing, but trust me, it's cool.  And it's free, so what's the big deal?

-I gained seven pounds when Jane was here and now none of my pants fit.  It's so embarrassing.  I'm doing the dandelion root tea cleanse to try to flush out some of the water weight, but my hopes are NOT high.  Mainly because this isn't water weight, it's Snickers and alcohol and cheese and Ritz weight.  And no amount of any sort of tea can flush that out.

Can it? Because if you know of one that can, I'm open to suggestions.

-Life without my Mac Mac is getting ridiculous.  My Christmas CDs are gone, I put them in iTunes and tossed them years ago.  And I have a TON, all the good Very Special albums from when it was good instead of stupid, plus basically every Time Life Christmas album ever created.  But my iTunes is on the Mac Mac, and I never did the Cloud thing, and since I didn't BUY these CDs, I just imported them into my library, I can't download them from the magical internet.  I just have to NOT have them.  It sucks!! I love Pandora as much as the next stay at home mom, but I want my own Christmas music!!!

And also, we're having our pictures done, and part of her program is coming over and showing you the proofs in your own house, on your own monitor.  My Mac Mac is PERFECTLY calibrated, and I'm sure the baby Mac is too, but come on, a fifteen inch laptop screen versus my glorious twenty seven inches of crystal clear beauty? Gimme a break.  And before you suggest doing it on our TV, our TV is older than our children and routinely has squiggly orange digitized lines running over the display.

First world problems, I know.  But that's what's on my mind!

-And if you're interested in how awesome our pictures might be, even if I can't view them properly after the fact, here's the link that sold me on this particular photographer. I just know that having her take my picture is going to render me slender and muscular, with long hair and awesome hobbies and cute little obedient children and basically I'll just be awesome.  Even more awesome that I already am, which, let's face it, is pretty awesome.

-Speaking of awesome, we have our plane tickets, our London car rented, our hotel booked in Northwood, our passports (both sets) in hand, and our visas applied for.  I'm finally starting to feel like this really might happen!!! On that note, here's the forecast for the week in Northwood.

Compared to what my four children and I have been dealing with for the past three years straight...

So that's gonna take a little getting used to.  Nick and I are having a few 'strongly oppiniotated discussions' about the amount of winter clothes we're going to need (long sleeves, pants, socks, undershirts, sweaters, gloves, scarves, hats, coats, boots, HOLYSHIT!!!) and how much these things tend to cost, but we're working through it.  From here on out, Daddy is in charge of this, so if you see me posting pictures of blue toes in flip flop feet at'll know why.

-I'm up to my eyeballs in photo editing.  And I'm just a mama, taking pictures of her kids.  I can't imagine what photographers must feel like.  I'm getting into the awful habit of wanting to edit EVERY SINGLE SHOT, instead of just the good ones I want to post.  I'm trying to cut back, but it's so fun!! With all my new actions, I can literally spend four hours editing one crappy picture!!! It's got to stop.  Especially because the battery on the baby mac is lacking and I can only run PSE for about ninety minutes straight before it conks out on me.

-Ben and Kate.  If you're not watching, you're looney tunes.  I laughed for thirty minutes straight during the Halloween episode.  I don't normally watch such dumb shows, but there's just something about Ben and Kate and Raising Hope that I just can't get enough of.  I love every single character and just about every single line.

Continuing on the TV newsfront, Up All Night isn't as funny this year.  At all.  I love the dude playing her brother, but you can't just throw a new character in and act like he's been there all along.  It's weird.

I erased all the new episodes of New Girl without watching a single one.  I don't even know why!!! I loved it last year, but I just can't get excited about it this year.  For me, she went from being cute and awkward to being obnoxious and too cool.  I think it was that Siri commercial she did.  SOOOOO annoying.  We get it, you're so uncool that you're cool.  Message received, now quit trying so hard.

I watched the first two Go Ons with Chandler, but deleted the rest.  Not sure how that show is still on.  It was lame!! And not funny!! Although it did make me absolutely one hundred percent quit texting while I drive.  So that's good.

I'm not a huge fan of The New Normal, but I do watch it.  I love Goldie.  I love them all, it's just not that interesting to me. I usually have it on in the background while I'm doing something else.  I don't like shows that border on the realm of fantasy, unless they're a ridiculous show (like Raising Hope.) Don't try to be a real life show and then throw an elaborate wedding for an eight year old.  That doesn't happen in real life, that belongs with the mama serial killer who got executed but not really and gets custody of her baby anyway and then gets hit by a bus sort of show.  Does that make sense?

Also not a huge fan of Modern Family this year because I think it's dumb that Gloria is pregnant.  And gross.  And I don't like how Claire is okay with Haley drinking at prom and being hungover in college. Yes, I understand that kids drink, and I understand that it's cool to be cool with it.  But as the daughter of an alcoholic, I'd rather Claire condone smoking weed than being drunk.  Drinking hurts people!!! Also, drinking hurts, people!! See how much grammar can change your life?  Have a plan.  Ava will always know that she can call me NO MATTER WHAT, but I never want her to think that I think it's cool that she's hungover.


I have all the episodes of Nashville on, but haven't started watching them yet.  I have high hopes.  I'm a few weeks behind on The Good Wife, and I think the whole Kalinda and her husband story is dumb.  No way would a girl like THAT be under the spell of that dude.  No way jose.  I hope there's a lot more Abbey from ER and Nathan Lane on the episodes I've got on the DVR.

Person of Interest is still my favorite show.  Absolutely.  CSI is still the dumbest thing I watch, but I watch it faithfully, every Saturday afternoon.  Elementary is my favorite new show of the season, and that threw me for a loop.  I wasn't expecting to like it, because I didn't think I liked Lucy Lui, but apparently actors do this thing where, if they're not playing that annoying character in Charlie's Angels, they act differently.  It's weird.  I love her, and I LOOOOOVVVEEE Sherlock, and I think it's awesome that instead of throwing the Sherlock Holmes ideas onto new characters, they're actually Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson.  Very cool.

If they hook up, however, I'm out.

So that's an embarrassing glimpse into how much TV I watch.  Wow.  Sort of eye opening.  I actually erased a few paragraphs because I don't want you to know how much I really do watch.  But trust me, it's a lot.


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  2. And now I just got to the end, and I didn't think you were fishing for compliments ;) The other day Ada told me that she hated reading because of ME, which you might have seen on my blog, so that's up there with top things you don't want your kid to say, especially when I am the one teaching her how to read!!!! Anyway, I just sympathize, because I think all of our worst fear is that we are a terrible mother, and on a lot of days I AM a terrible mother!!! But you're not!!!

    1. When I saw that Ada said that, it was like a knife in my heart. I know it musta killed you. But I have a feeling she'll get over it :) I saw a quote somewhere about the fact that children are made readers on the laps of their mothers. Or something like that. She can't grow up watching you love reading and not be a reader. She just can't.

  3. I can't believe someone said that to you and I am so sad that you took a hateful lie so personally! Your children know you love them and that's all that matters! I almost forgot to feed my son breakfast this morning, we were literally in the car and I was buckling him up to go to school! I had to run inside and grab something!
    And I watch and embarrassing amount of tv as well... my dvr gets a workout.

    1. Watch tv and go to the beach, what else is there?

  4. hmm... i've never timed anything. how does that work?
    i told you that you weren't a terrible mom silly.
    welcome to editing every photo. it's so addicting and so great. just think, the more you edit the better you become at it and the faster it goes, right!? maybe you should keep the baby mac plugged in... then it won't die.
    i loved the first two episodes of New Normal, but now it's like they have to have some huge deep moral in every story and it's just too much. and i thought the wedding was absurd. the grandma was really out there at first and now all of a sudden she's toned down a bit (guess people didn't appreciate that).
    grammar is the best.
    stop clubbing baby seals!
    stop clubbing, baby seals.
    two totally different meanings.
    you should post some of ava's photos so we can see what she's been up to. :)

    1. I think I figured out how to reply to comments. Text me and lemme know if you get this. How would you get it? Will someone send you an email? I guess if I get a text from you telling me...I'll have my answer?

  5. We LOVE Nashville! Like, a lot. Haven't both loved a show this much since Friday Night Lights. I hope it has staying power b/c we are hooked. Oh, and I also read that Hayden Pantierre (or however you spell her name) sings all of her own songs in the show. Ah-mazing!

    1. Check it out! I figured out how to reply to comments!! I think. Anyway. I'm not sure what I'm waiting for to watch Nashville, but Nick has duty so I might knock a few out tonight. He won't watch it with me. Ever.

  6. I can't believe someone would say something like that. You aren't a terrible mother. At all. What I do love about you is that you are a REAL mother-you talk about the good, the bad and the ugly. You put a smile on my face and make me laugh because I can relate to so much. You don't sugarcoat things, you don't make it sound like everything's perfect all the time. So keep doing what you're doing-you love your kids and they love you, truly does much else matter? Nicole

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  7. I had so much fun reading your thoughts on your tv shows, and I ADORE that you call actors by their character names from old shows. Let's face it, he'll always be Chandler.

    Good for you to hit publish. Someone may call you a terrible mother, but they'd be wrong. And rude.

    I'm excited to be your newest follower!

  8. i can't believe someone told you that you were a terrible mother. i was so confused and distraught about it that i read through every comment on this post and saw the "full disclosure" statement. rest assured that i have been judged and blamed for not "cherishing" my children because I'm called to work. And Rowen and Harper have both tumbled down the stairs in the Virginia house and the South Carolina house and (I'm cringing typing this) I've accidentally locked them in my hot car TWICE. yeah. you don't need anyone telling you how lousy that kind of thing is--you're already painfully aware. i totally know that feeling. i think you're terrific and i have no idea how you juggle everything on your plate. chin up, darlin!