Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Thanksgiving

So this is my semi Thanksgiving post, five days later.  It's not that I have ANYTHING against Thanksgiving.  At all.  In fact, in a NORMAL world, I love love LOVE it and make a huge deal and it's all pinterest and Kelle Hampton and things like that.
These past few years have been less than stellar.  I'm not blaming anyone but myself, considering everything was in my own power, but it is what it is.  Nov 2009 was nice, we were in Connecticut, unsettled, getting mentally prepared for Guam, knowing we were only in CT for six short cold months. Rudy and Erin had us over and it was nice, truly.  But I just didn't take the time to make it anything special because I was overwhelmed with life right then.  Actually, I was in the throes of my first bout of post partum depression and was too consumed with the ONEHUNDREDPERCENTSUREFACT that Warren was dead any time he was out of my sight for more than two straight minutes.
Nov 2010, we were in Guam and Nick was gone for five weeks in and around Thanksgiving.  We had a boat dinner at one of the sweet wive's houses, and it was nice and fun and fancy and elegant, but again, I didn't make ANY effort to make it special or meaningful for us as a family. I was also massively pregnant, overweight, on a pretty strict diet from my OB, and in the throes of antenatal anxiety and depression wherein I was convinced that Daisy had died inside of me if she went more than two straight minutes without kicking.  On a side note, Nick was gone for five months the following summer, and to this day, I say that those five weeks in Nov and Dec of 2010 were ten times harder on me.  Seriously.
Nov 2011, we'd packed out to move to Hawaii a month earlier, so a good friend had us over.  That year was actually special and nice and all that, but once again, I didn't do ANYTHING special.  She did all the cooking and cleaning and I just superglued a bow to my baby's head and showed up to eat.
This view out Jess' window MURDERS me.  This is what she sees when she wakes up EVERY FUCKING DAY.


And Nov 2012.  I didn't do ANYTHING this year again.  This was the worst one.  I don't think I asked a single kid what he or she was thankful for this entire month.  I'm being serious.
I don't know why.  We ARE grateful.  About a LOT of stuff.  So why didn't I make a point to talk about it? Even ONCE?
I have no idea.  I'm stressed, and anxious, and I have senioritis.  Excuses are like assholes, and these are mine.  Basically, as soon as Nick emailed me that we got London Adjacent Baby, I mentally checked out of life and have been on autopilot ever since.
So this year, Jess mentioned having us over in passing, and I held her to it and my family of six busted down the door on Thursday afternoon.
Which brings me to the point of this post.  Friends.  Not just Jess, but all of them.  All of my friends.
Isn't this a cool shot? She's on the bed inside, and Scott is out on the patio with me, that's his reflection on the glass in front of Daisy.

Without friends, I wouldn't have even had a Thanksgiving for the past four years.

When I didn't do a single thing to be joyful and show my kids the meaning of the holidays, my friends stepped in a took care of it for me.

You know what sums up friendship for me? Like, awesome friends friendship?  That scene at the end of one of those Lord of the Rings movies.  Now, I'm not a Lord of the Rings fan.  I almost stopped reading PW when she admitted that she thought one of those movies was the best movie ever, that she thought it should have beaten Forrest Gump.  PUH-LEASE.

But anyway.  Elijah Wood is like carrying this necklace or ring or whatever to throw it into the lava (does that sound at all correct? I did see all three movies, but I can't promise I was awake for the majority.  But I think I have the jist here.  No? And is it gist?)  Anyway, the necklace is making him sick or something.  Maybe even killing him? And Sean Astin from Rudy (and The Goonies!!!) for some reason isn't allowed to just take the necklace and do it himself, since he's healthy and Elijah Wood is in really bad shape by now.  I would go so far as to say maybe Rudy would die or something if he took the necklace.  The ring.  Isn't that it? Won't the ring make him go crazy or something?

ANYWAY.  So Rudy finally says something along the lines of Hey! You know what? I can't take this ring (necklace?) from you and do this for you.  I can't lift your burden and I'm so sorry.  But you know what I CAN do Elijah Wood? I can carry YOU. And then (I think) he like carries Elijah Wood up the mountain to throw it in the lava.  (I might rent this movie.  Any idea which of the three it is?)

And that's friendship.  And you know who you are, and I'm not going to name names and get all emotional and having FEELINGS.  You know who you are and that I can't do this without you and I love you and appreciate everything you do.

And you know what? True, I didn't read the books and I apparently don't remember the movie that well.  But I remember leaving that theater thinking Hey, screw Elijah Wood, whatever, Rudy is the real hero of that story.

Seriously.

2 comments:

  1. Friends make being far from home bearable. You must be someone really special to find good friends every time you move. We moved across the country four years ago, and I'm still throwing myself a pity party. God bless you and your military family!

    ReplyDelete
  2. samwise is the real hero of that story. he's the best friend ever ever ever. like someone else i know.

    ReplyDelete