Thursday, January 26, 2012

Weight Check Wednesday: Full Disclosure

So.  Tomorrow is my first time going back to an actual Weight Watchers meeting, and I'm so excited I probably won't be able to sleep tonight.  I just love it.  I'm just so excited! Anyway.  The point is, I'm going back to actual meetings, and Daisy June turns one on Sunday.  Don't get me started, I'm not in the mood to talk about that right now.  Back to the point, if any of ya'll have been lucky enough to see me lately, you probably noticed that even though I've reached (practically) that magical twelve month mark, those last fifteen pounds didn't just melt away overnight.  Weird.

So here's the skinny.  Ha.  Pun? Is that a pun? I have to admit that I don't one hundred percent understand what a pun is.  Like a play on words? Like, saying 'here's the skinny' before I talk about how fat I am? Not sure.  Anyway, the skinny.  Robin once led me to believe that I shouldn't mention numbers, but come on.  I'm not invisible, and I live on (yet another) tropical island, so I'm forced into far-too-skimpy clothes, far too often.  It's not a big secret that I'm an overeater!!

Anyway, so here's the skinny.  I was just over two hundred pounds when I delivered Daisy June, despite being placed on a diet and exercise regime by my (very kind and understanding and seriously not as evil as everyone who didn't know her thought when she did it) OB.  I'd gained over forty pounds by my twenty week check up, and she was worried that I'd have a great big fat baby from diabetes who would need an IV for a dextrose drip and that I'd be so fat that they'd have to staple me instead of suture it, and Lord KNOWS I didn't want that (I have a staple thing, go figure) and also, she was just not an idiot.  Any non-idiot can tell you that you shouldn't gain forty pounds in twenty weeks.  Duh, it's like a famous quote.

So in those second twenty weeks, with her guidance, I did Weight Watchers and I walked until the very last week, when I went crazy and couldn't leave my bedroom for fear of strangling my children or my husband or both.  I only gained an additional ten pounds (she wanted me to lose five, I wanted to gain another fifty, so I think ten was a great way to meet in the middle.)  I was also over two hundred for Scott, and just under for Warren.  And with Ava, I was one sixty two.  ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY TWO POUNDS!!! I'm not one to lose an obscene amount of weight in the delivery room, and I took it pretty easy for a few weeks after I delivered.  You know, fourth c-section and all.  I ate when I was hungry, and I didn't exert myself AT ALL.  But I didn't go hog wild either.

So at the six week mark, I joined WW online and stepped on a scale for the first time.  It was mid-March and I was 189.  I walked, ate right, you know the drill.  The weight came off slowly but surely, half a pound or a pound at a time.  I felt good, I looked like a woman who just had her fourth kid in five years, life was pretty boring.

Then Nick ended up being gone for five months.  Right about his fourth month out, I lost my mind.  I still worked out, but I stopped eating right, and when he got back, I stopped working out too.  And ate REALLY bad.

The week he came back (Sept 17-ish) I was 168.  Twenty one pounds in six months is fine, whatever, but I wanted it to be more because I wasn't a regular fat person, I'd just had a baby!! That should count!! It was faster with Warren and I wanted it to be even faster than that with Daisy June.

So I half assed my way through fall (I was reading Game of Thrones, so I didn't want to work out!!) and when I packed out my scale in mid December, I was 166.5.  Pound and a half in three months equals NOT GOOD!!!

Then we moved, and you know how that is.  No house, no pots and pans, no schedules, nothing.  Lots of McD's, lots of Moe's (WE HAVE A MOES!!!) lots of Papa Johns (WE HAVE A PAPA JOHNS!!!) and NO exercise.  At all.

HOWEVER.  I got on the scale today, and I'm 166!!! I'll take that half pound and run with it!! HOORAY FOR ME!!!

But now it's back to the grind.  I can't get Warren into preschool (and I can't justify the obscene cost of preschool around here anyway even if he DID get in) so the only time I can work out is at five.  Ugh.  I'm POSITIVE you've noticed I'm not a morning person.  BUT, I feel better mentally (not physically, gross) when I'm exercising regularly, and since I'm not going to be pregnant or hormonal again, I figured this is it.  It's time to get this under control.  OF COURSE, I am not against anti depressants, but for me, if I can ward this off with diet and exercise, I want to try to keep it at that.  We'll reevaluate with I move to Washington and don't see the sun for three hundred and sixty days a year, hmmkay?

So thus far this week (uh, it's only Wednesday, you say? To which I will respond IT'S ALREADY WEDNESDAY!!!) I have gotten up at five and worked out.  It was that simple.  I need to bump bedtime back from eleven (oh, but I just LOVE to stay up till eleven!! It's the PERFECT bedtime!!!) I did my elliptical once and the 30 Day Shred twice.  I missed my elliptical.  I couldn't use it when I was pregnant because the up and down motion of my knees knocked my belly and the whole motion just jostled too much and hurt) and then after she was born, she slept in my room, so I couldn't use it then either, but not it's in the garage and Nick taught me how to do stream to me on his iPad so I can watch ANYTHING you can pull up on the computer in the iPad (!!! If you need to learn how to do this, I will forward him any of your comments.  It's life altering, to say the least) and I just sort of chug along watching movies or Toddlers in Tiaras and life is just grand.

Not so much with the 30 Day Shred.  It got a thousand times harder since the last time I did it.  In October. Go figure.

Anyway.  Is anyone still reading?  Remember when I said I was one sixty two when I delivered Daisy June? You might have noticed that that is four pounds LESS than I weigh now.  Isn't that disgusting?!?! Gross.

My WW goal is one forty five.  But since it's forty three dollars a month, I will probably stop the meetings at one fifty.  That's what I was when we moved to Guam, right at the one year mark after Warren.  I wanted to lose more, but I felt good and looked sorta awesome if I do say so myself.  So one fifty is sixteen pounds away.  I figure pound a week, sixteen weeks.  Four months.  Beginning of June.  So that's my goal, less than one fifty before my mama comes out to visit.

And now that ya'll know my dark secret numbers, you can keep me accountable.

In other news, I'm watching the Drew Peterson thing on Lifetime with Rob Lowe and the girl from Big Bang (who is doing a FANTASTIC job, by the by) and seriously, if I didn't KNOW it was Rob Lowe, I would never EVER have guessed it!! Not in a million years!! He's all creepy and old and just looks NOTHING like Rob Lowe!!! Isn't makeup amazing? Why can't I figure out how to use it to cover this ridiculous acne and make my face look skinny?!?! I mean, hello!! It can turn Rob Lowe into that weirdo, but it can't even out my skin tone? Ugh.

Monday, January 23, 2012


I've got a big post with updates and pics and the whole shebang, but right now I'm sitting outside while Dub races the (free and handed down to us four years ago) Jeep up and down the road, so I just thought I'd pull some pics off my phone and share some bullets with you.  I know you're devastated not to get the whole shebang, but good things come to those who wait!!

-I can tolerate a disasterous, disorganized, child infested house.  As long as my kitchen and pantry are ship shape.  Someone mentioned to me the other day that they were surprised I was organized in the pantry, and I get it.  I'm a wreck, I usually don't even have on a clean shirt.  But my's just not good.  It messes with my mind if it's a wreck.  Same with the kitchen, I can't function if there's shit all over the counters.  I don't care if my cabinets and drawers are bursting at the seams with piles and piles shoved in there, as long as it's not on the counter.  Or in the pantry.

Anyway.  So that was the first thing I tacked.  This tiny house has an AMAZING kitchen, with two pantries!! So I have one for snacks and diapers and art supplies and laundry, and then my cooking pantry.  Don't get me started on the odds and ends one, I'm trying to pretend it doesn't exist right now's a wreck.

My before, but I'd already obviously done a little work in there.

I got a lamintor (I've been wanting one FOREVER!!) and printed off some AMAZINGLY CUTE labels from Better Homes and Gardens, then glued those suckers to all my tupperware type pieces.  

 As an aside, I have WAAAAY too many clear plastic tubs.  Big ones, little ones, medium ones... never in a million years would twenty different households be able to utilize all of my tubs.  Not gonna happen.

But I can't bear to part with a single piece.

And my after.  Still needs some work, and things are a little out of whack because Scott got his own breakfast, but you know me, gotta keep it real.    We have to store our office supplies in there because there's not any room in this teeny tiny house for a proper desk, but whatever.  It's just a year, maybe three.  I've learned I can survive anything for just a year or three, you know?

Let's see, what else....oh yeah!

-Have ya'll tried these?

Now, I'm sure you remember that I JUST NOW started eating seafood.  And I don't LOVE it, but I can tolerate some grilled or broiled tilapia.  And I've made tuna every now and then because as far as WW goes, you get a LOT of bang for your buck.  I also subscribe to Hungry Girl, and she was raving about these pouches a few weeks ago, so when I saw them at the commissary (I love Hawaii for that reason alone- the commissary.  When you need something, you go to the commissary...and they have it!! IT'S AMAZING!!!) I picked up a few flavors.  So far, that's the only one I've tried, and it's FANTASTICAL.  I threw two ounces on top of one of those bag salads and it was yummy yummy.  No fishy taste at all.  Although if I'm going to be totally honest, I did pour on some ranch.  Not an obscene amount, and it would have been just as good with some spritzer dressing from wishbone, but I was in a ranch mood.  And I 'worked out' this morning, so I felt like I deserved it.  YUM.

-Also at the commissary? This little gem.  I can't wait to dive in.  We LOVE American made Mexican here at casa de Engelbrecht.  LOVE.  Love love love.  Not sure how many more times I'm going to say it.  I'm already ready (already) to try the first two recipes, one for shrimp and one for pulled pork style chicken.  I'll keep you posted.  You lucky dog.

Yes, I bite my nails.  And I never make a New Year's Resolution to stop biting my nails, because I LIKE to bite them.  Duh, that's why I do it.  It's not a nervous habit or a twitch or anything, I just like to bite my nails.  So does everyone else who bites theirs, they just won't admit it to you.  But I'm not ashamed.  I like to bite my nails.  If that bothers you, you can bite ME :)
-When I went to grab my purse (Daisy if off the bottle AND off formula, so I don't need a diaper bag anymore!!!) I got a fun little surprise.
Sup Woody?!?!

-How Normal Rockwell is my life getting? The BEST part of moving here to Hawaii is that ALL (two) of my Guam friends moved with us!! One of them lives RIGHT down the road, so we invited ourselves over this weekend when both our stupid husbands had to stupid work on a stupid Saturday.
Ride faster, they just let the prisoners out of the Brig for yard time!!

-It's almost impossible to take a picture of your own ear.  But I muddled thru, so I could show you how talented my baby sister is.  She made me these and another pair, and I think I can rope her into making me a few necklaces too.  It's a crappy picture, but aren't they TOTALLY my style?!?!

-Lastly, Nick and I started watching Homeland last night.  We don't ever splurge for the movie channels (hence watching Peurto Rican Game of Thrones on youtube) but we got a year of showtime free with our cable here, so we decided to see what all the hype was about.

The reason there's so much hype about Homeland is simple: it's fricking GOOD.  Intense.  And hello, Angela Chase.  What could be better? The only problem is that the guy is (OF COURSE) from Band of Brothers and Nick is all worked up because he was such a good guy in Band of Brothers, he doesn't want to even consider that he might be a terrorist.  DO NOT GIVE ME ANY SPOILERS.  I WILL CUT YOUR FACE.

Also, if anyone else splurges for HBO, I'll give you five dollars if I can come watch Game of Thrones when it starts back up.  And another five if you tell me when it starts back up.

Friday, January 13, 2012


Y'all, as usual, I need you to get me on your prayer lists.  I"m not quite to the point where I'm asking random strangers at the commissary to pray for me, but I'm getting there.

Without getting into too much detail, Ava is (and therefor I am) having a hard time adjusting to life in Hawaii.  She doesn't understand what 'nerves' are and I don't think she has ANY idea that the excruciating pain she's experiencing in her belly is due to the fact that she's sad and upset and misses her I need you to pray for her.  And me.  Please pray that she realizes that THIS is our home now, that all of her belongings are here, and her friends came too.  Her mama is here for her, and her daddy will be here in a very short while (although, to a six year old, even 'tomorrow' is too long to have to wait for your daddy), her brothers love her and her sister absolutely adores her...her new teacher seems to love her almost as much as her old one, there's so much fun stuff to do here...

So yeah.  Prayers.  We went from trying to take life hour by hour to taking life minute by minute.  Obviously, I have to handle it until it's over so it seems stupid to say...but I'll say it: I don't know how much longer I can handle this.  My heart is literally going to break.  I always rolled my eyes when mamas said that about their babies, that the baby's pain was more painful for the mama than the baby...but I get it now.  I truly do.  Please, just pray that she feels BETTER.  I don't know what she NEEDS to feel better, but whatever it is...pray that she gets it.  Please.  I'm BEGGING you.  This is quickly approaching epic proportions here.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Menu Plan Monday

Well, so far, today has been half suck and half totally AWESOMESAUCE.

Sucky? I spent ninety minutes and four hundred dollars at the commissary.  Awesome? When I was leaving, the preschool we signed up for back in September, the one who told me Scott was first on the list but that they didn't think anyone was leaving any time soon, called and said he can start as soon as I finish the paperwork!!!

Sucky? We were pretty late to Ava's first day and I found out that when I pick her up in the afternoons, she can't just head for the carpool line.  I have to unload everyone and walk in and get her.  After I find a parking spot.  Awesome? I think I might be able to work it out with my friend Laura to take her kids and she'll take care of pickups!!!

Sucky? Those groceries are all over the table and counters.  I don't feel like putting them away.  Awesome? Uh, I'm blogging instead of putting away groceries.

Sigh.  Anyway.  I plan on going thru at least a few pictures tonight, so hopefully  my next post won't be so...picture-less.

Here's my menu for the week.  It's time to try and start feeling a little more settled here.  Apparently, that means we need to stop living at the Panda Express.  We'll see how long that lasts.

Monday: taco cups.  I'll post the link if they're any good.  In other news, I'll be making this with leftover taco soup.  Doesn't that seem economical? You're supposed to brown meat and taco seasoning and beans and all that...but I'm using taco soup.  I am!

Tuesday: chicken lo mein.  Trying to wean ourselves off Panda Express.  I have a feeling that home made lo mein is NOT going to cut it as methadone.

Wednesday: breakfast

Thursday: beef and broccoli.  And noodles I guess, since my damn rice cooker is in my express shipment.

Friday: we're either meeting Jen at Chuck E Cheese, or ordering Papa John's.  Or driving thru the Panda Express.  WHATEVER.

Saturday: fish and tortellini.  Because we can't have rice.

Sunday: grilled chicken leg quarters.  And not rice.

What's on your menu this week?

Monday, January 9, 2012

Random Tidbits

Ahhh, I have internet.  And it's just as fabulous as I remembered.  So let's dive right in, it's been a while, no?

1. I am addicted to this netti pot type squeeze bottle that I got.  You know how those people get addicted to Afrin nose spray? Well, I can now see why.  I got sick pretty much the second I stepped off the plane.  Horrible cold and cough and this intense, unbearable pressure in my sinuses and ears.  I used to be a sudafed addict, but out of nowhere, when I was pregnant with Warren, I think, I developed this horrible sensitivity to it.  It makes me all jumpy and my heart race and I want to claw my skin off and then crawl out of it...not good.  So I got this sinucleanse squeeze bottle where you literally squirt warm water and salt up one nostril and lean over so it drains out the other.

It's FABULOUS. I'm finally getting better (AT LAST!!! Eleven days for a cold, doesn't that seem sort of long?!?!) but I can't stop using it!!! I just want my sinuses to be totally clear.  At all times.  So.  That's that.

2.  Daisy June is off the bottle.  I know it's not as dramatic as those women who breastfeed, but it's dramatic for me.  I will never again hold one of my children close and watch her eyes drift shut while she nurses on a little plastic nipple.  And the worst part is, I don't even know when it ended.  I just realized one night in the hotel that we'd been putting her down without a bottle, and a few days later I threw them all out.  And a few days after THAT, I remembered that she's my LAST baby and I'm supposed to savor these precious moments.  THEN I got internet and watched Law and Order for six hours.  Win some, lose some.

3.  I haven't decided yet about Hawaii.  I don't hate it, but I don't LOVE it like I thought I would.  It's just sort of so-so.  It's a city, so it's dirty, and crowded.  It's allegedly a tropical island, but other than when I'm at my house (on another island, IN the island, which weirds me out) I never see the water.  We saw two beaches when Nick was here, but they were hard to get to.  When I'm driving around, I never think to myself "Hey Self, you're on a tropical island!" The palm trees are few and far between.  The people are fast a hurry.  Things are expensive.  There's no openings in any preschool on this side of the island for Scott.

Now, do what you want, but I don't exactly need comments about how 'you just have to go to so and so and then you'll feel like it's a tropical island' or 'the beaches at xyz are fantastic.'  I KNOW these things.  I know that if I travel to the North Shore, I'll see all the gorgeous scenes from Lost.  I know that in Kaneohe, there's fantastic beaches.  But I live HERE.  In Honolulu.  On an island with a LOT of industrial crapola going on.  And a brig across the street.  Literally.  I can see guys in jail playing basketball AS I TYPE THIS.

I naturally have HUGE amounts of well placed buyer's remorse (renter's remorse?) about taking this house.  We should have went to Kaneohe or Kailua.

And as far as the fact that now we're able to go to Target and the Gap and all that jazz? It's nice.  But I got used to ordering everything online in Guam so it wasn't that bad.  And with Scott and Warren not in preschool, it's not like I can really go to the mall anyway.

4. In a surprising turn of events, I miss Guam.  I ache for Tender Shepherd, and Gab Gab.  That's it, but that's enough.  I feel empty inside whenever I think of either one.  I am not being dramatic.  I really do ache.

5.  I saw Mission Impossible.  It was fantastic.  I am not ready to lift the I Hate Tom Cruise stance, but we might be getting closer.  He played his role very low key (well, as low key as you can get while also scaling tall buildings with magnet gloves and all that) and did a lot of stepping back to let the other cast members (JEREMY RENNER!!! JEREMY RENNER!!) shine.  I was very impressed.  Makes me want to watch Rain Man.

6. Have ya'll been keeping up with PW's All Time Best Movie thingie she's got going on? It might break your heart.  I swear to God, if Titanic wins, I might stop following her.  I mean, I know it's not her fault, but I don't want to follow the same woman that people who think Titanic is the Best Movie of All Time follow.  Those people are yucky and I don't want to be like them.  I can't remember what Rain Man lost out to, but I bet it was equally as unjust.  People are such morons.

7. Does anyone have any tips for changing the sheets on bunk beds? We bunked the boys' beds (because this house is so fucking small that we LITERALLY can't keep them unbunked) and it took me about nine and a half hours to change the top sheet today.  It was not fun.

8. After the bombardment of semi-negative things I said about Hawaii, it warms my heart to know that when I go to the commissary tomorrow, they'll have the stuff I need.  And multiple choices of each thing.  I almost cried the first time I went.  Okay, you got me.  I did cry.  Tears of joy.

9. Another plus? The chapel is apparently pretty big and active.  I'm starting a Bible study (hopefully) Wednesday morning and they have childcare!!! There's a novel idea (sike!! you like that Holly?)!! I will NEVER understand why churches do Bible studies without child care.  Have I mentioned that people are morons? Anyway, from what I can tell, I'll be able to do a Priscilla Shrirer study.  I feel bad cheating on Beth Moore, but A) It's not my fault if there's not a Beth Moore offered and B) Priscilla Shrier is the next best thing.  AND Beth Moore like endorses her or something.  Anyway.  Hopefully I can make a few friends and get out of this funk.

10.  Nick might be here sometime in the next few weeks.  I usually have at least a vague idea of when he's coming, but this time, nada.  I don't know if it's that it's up in the air, or if it's that I wasn't listening when we talked about it, or if it's that I just can't remember.  Here's hoping he can get a ride from the pier to the house in case I never figure it out.

11.  I have nine hundred and seventy five pictures to get off my camera.

12. Milk here is seven dollars a gallon.

13.  I NEED a preschool for Scott.  It's not a want.  It's a NEED.  Ava can explain the difference if you're foggy.

14.  I also NEED my van and my crockpot and my roomba.

15. But mostly,  I NEED a preschool for Scott.

Engelbrecht out.