Monday, June 10, 2013

Operation: Get My Sh*t Together

So far, I can't even say that Operation: Get My Shit Together (or OGMST, as I like to call it) has been a failure, because it just hasn't happened.  At all.  Surely you can't consider it failure when you haven't made a single change? Or perhaps THAT'S the failure, that I've got all these ideas floating around in my head but I haven't even bothered to pause Dexter and get off the couch and put a single one of them into practice. Hmm.  That actually DOES sound worse. At least if I'd tried and failed, at least then I'd have tried.  I'd have done something.

Is it better to try and fail than never try at all? Kinda like that phrase about is it better to have loved and lost than never loved?

I dunno.  I do know one thing, and that's that it's better to try and succeed watching an entire season of Dexter in forty eight hours.  BOOM.

Of course, my husband is unwittingly making me look bad (he doesn't really know about OGMST because it's happening entirely in my own head) by deciding he wanted to build the kids a set of monkey bars and then just doing it.  It took him seven and a half minutes.  Ugh.
 Part One of my OGMST plan is to Feel Better Physically.  This step also has to be broken down in many little steps.  Remember when Joey makes Chandler spend Thanksgiving in the box and they all keep saying how it's three fold?

No? Just me? Whatevs.
Part One Indent A was supposed to be Lose Twenty Pounds.  I don't think we need to rehash the numbers for the millionth time, but I'm WAAAAY above my pre-Warren weight (the last time I felt and looked amazing, in my own humble opinion) and I'm ten pounds heavier than I was when I left Hawaii.  So I wanted to lose ten pounds, reward myself with some Lulemon yoga pants, then work on the remaining ten, which would put me Pre Daisy and only ten small pounds away from Pre Warren.  Thirty pounds.  GROAN.
^^^^^^^^^^^My body made this.  And that down there, but I don't know how to make arrows going down.  So I've cut myself a lot of slack over the years, and truly, I know how badass it is that I grew four real live human beings in the short span of 72 months.  Yes, I did the math.  Got knocked up with Ava in Feb 2005 and delivered the grand finale in Jan of 2011.  That's 72 months. I really am sort of amazing.

But.  And isn't there always a but? But I've been using that as a crutch, using it to justify eating an entire jar of peanut butter.  And not the good organic peanut butter that's just peanuts and salt and you have to stir it, I dig in to Costco sized tubs of Jif. I'd grab a spoon and mutter 'I deserve this, I had four kids in five years, I'm hungry.'
Why is this background grey?


 And truly, I'd stay fat if I felt good.  I don't mind looking the way I look (well, I mind, but I could get over it if I felt okay.) But I've been feeling like shit.  Naturally.  I mean, I'm cramming garbage in my face. "Then I realized living in the garbage wasn't making me feel very good."
 So I started working out.  Five days a week.  And it didn't help. That's not true, it made me feel SO MUCH BETTER.  But still fat, and still not able to zip my jeans.  So I tried a diet program, and I don't want to name it because I hate to bash on it, and I'm still hoping for some dramatic results, but so far, that's not working either.  Still fat, still not able to zip my jeans.
 But I feel amazing.  I really do.  I work out and I feel energized and happy and put together.  I believe in the power of endorphins.  Not sure I'm buying into the whole 'I feel better when I eat better' crapola, but I cut out diet coke completely for the beginning of my diet thing, and now I'm down to one a day most days, and I think I feel better.
 So who knows.  What else can I do except either keep doing what I'm doing (which is counting every single calorie with My Fitness Pal and doing a Jillian Michael's tape four or five times a week, depending on the weekend, in case anyone is interested in a plan that does NOT work) or have very extensive reconstructive surgery?



And now I can't think of a Part One Indent B. So let's move on to Part Two: Feel Better Mentally.



^^^^^^^^I wanna feel like THAT guy, all the time.  Or at least a lot of the time. We found a church that I really like, although it's hard to tell.  Basically, I'm pretty much mesmerized by anyone with a British accent.  So I can't tell if the messages are really that good, or if I just like listening to British people talk.  But I figure either way, it's a good first step.  Next will be getting involved in a Bible study and actually DOING the work.

Also, I'm still taking my Zoloft religiously.  It's been surprisingly sunny these last two weeks, and the fact that the sun rises at four thirty and sets after ten doesn't hurt, so I haven't used my Crazy Lamp in a while, but it's still set up in the office for when I need it.  Sometimes, I don't even realize that I DO need it, until Angela says 'hey moron, go turn your lamp on.' Always nice to have a helpful friend.

I'm trying to cut down on TV.  As always.  I've been trying to cut down on TV for the last twenty seven years. I just really love TV. Like, a lot.  The problem is that after the kids go to bed, Nick and I just sort of collapse on the couch and watch two hours of Sons or The League and then going to bed.  Which is fine, except that I usually have nine baskets of laundry to fold and some picking up to do because I watched two straight hours of Dexter and The Good Wife during naps.  So that's a problem.

And I'm about to tackle my latest project: The Biggest Most Intricate Quilt Someone Who Has Never Sewn a Single Stitch Has Ever Tackled.  I'm SOOOO excited.  But I think I'm going to need to put at least an hour a day on that.  So either afternoon or evening TV is going to take a serious hit.

Which sucks.
Hello? Is there a way you can beam the TV directly into my brain so I can watch while I do other, more productive things?

Also, this sounds dumb, but part of feeling better mentally has actually been figuring out how to use Spotify (we don't get pandora) and having AMAZEBALLS playlists going all day.  This house is wired for sound (do I sound like I know what I'm talking about?) so I can set up the ipad with a six hour playlist and then listen to it no matter where I wander around the house.  That really helps keep the TV off, and music always puts me in a better mood.  My current obsessions are Monsters and Men (thanks Nikki!!) and Young the Giant.  And of course, I'm refreshing myself with The Killers since I'll be seeing them in like ten days, but honestly, I don't need much refreshment because The Killers are basically engrained in my DNA by now.
This poor dog, my sweet friend had us over the other day and of course, my kids have never been around dogs.  Daisy KICKED her in the face, screamed that she hated her, and tried to ride her like a pony.  Dog never barked or growled or even really bothered to move.  I'm not into dogs, but if for some reason I needed to have one, I'd want THIS one.  Love.



Part Three of OGMST is to Get This House Under Control.
This house? I can handle this house, you deal with your house. 



This house is huge. I have a cleaning plan, but I don't stick to it.  It goes hand in hand with the way that I watch too much TV...but still.  Part of OGMST is to figure out how to stay on top of the laundry and dishes, and getting my time under control, and not realizing at the last minute that I've got an appointment at Ava's school in five minutes. All suggestions welcome.


And that's it. Now I'll just bombard you with the rest of these pictures. You're welcome.



Hopefully one day, I'll actually start to WORK on OGMST and I'll have another post with updates and success stories and tips for everyone to have a fabulous perfect life like I do. 









If I were you though, I wouldn't hold my breath. 
Engelbrecht out. 

5 comments:

  1. #1 - Your kids are gorgeous! These pictures capture their pure, carefree take on life that unfortunately goes away when you become an adult.
    #2 - The eat crap = feel like crap is not a myth! Take baby steps. Try to eat good, clean food most of the time. That's how I try to live. Then I go to MS and gorge on all that delish food and I want to die. And I don't want it for another 6 months. My body now craves veggies and water. Craziest thing ever.
    #3 - You travel with 4 kids. In foreign countries. Which gives me a panic attack thinking about it. In my mind, you TOTALLY have your shit together for that reason alone.

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    1. Well thankyou. But I wouldn't consider it 'foreign' countries. I mean, when everyone speaks english and you can get a starbucks...feels a lot like the states ;)

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  2. 7 minute Monkey Bars! I am jealous. Why do we have useless self-cleaning ovens, and no body has invented the self-folding dryer?!

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    1. Seriously, or a better way to store and wear clothes. I'm thinking magic might really help with this one...

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  3. If I could get off my ass, I would help you take OGMST international. We have free HBO this week, so I'll have to start next week.

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