Thursday, September 5, 2013

Sept 5: A Whole Lotta Things About Me

I'm already running out of things to talk about and it's day FIVE.  Twenty five more days.  I thought about diving back into book reveiws, but I want to spread that out.  Then again, I can also do movies and TV and music...

Although, remind me again why I feel like I have any authority to recommend anything to anyone?

Although, I guess I'm not exactly recommending anything.  I'm just listing stuff I've seen/read/heard and telling you what I thought.  Because you care.

Because I care.

Yes, that's it exactly.  It's because I care, and I love to hear the sound of my own voice.

Er, I love to hear the sound of my fingers on the keyboard as I pound out my thoughts?

Doesn't have the same ring to it.

Regardless.  Desert Dandelion is my absolute FAVE. She's cool and young and trendy by being anti trendy and she's smart and snarky, I just really like her blog.  And she did a Whole Lot of Things About Me post, in which she says that she got the idea from this blog, which I've never really read, but since DD talks about her all the time, I should probably add her to my To Stalk list, yes?

So here goes.  Should we do numbers, or bullets? Let's do bullets, numbers can be intimidating. And just to let you know, I'm almost completely copying that Nova post. I mean, I'm not copying her life, I'm copying her bullets.  Like, if she says she got a degree in Hispanic Studies, I say I got mine in Nursing.  Get it? I just don't want you to think I came up with any of these prompts on my own.  I'm not that creative.  Scratch that, I AM pretty creative.  I just don't feel like it, especially since I know someone else already did and I can just copy hers.

-I am a thirty one year old woman living in a house in the London suburbs with my four children and husband.  My lover, Nick, is in the US Navy, and he's doing an exchange program with the Royal Navy.  I don't know what, exactly, he does, because I only half listen when we talks about it, but I know he's a submariner, and he's working with the British submarine force right now, but not any actual submarines.

I myself don't do anything. I know you're supposed to say 'I'm a personal chef and a private chauffeur' or 'I'm molding precious lives' and things like that, but I don't do those things.  I cook food because I'm hungry, and I offer kids eat what I make because the government strongly advises me to do so. I do NOT take their orders or requests and I do NOT make special foods for them that either myself or my husband do not eat. I drive them to school because it gets them away from me, and I'll be driving Scott to karate this term because he needs to learn how to control his anger. I am NOT a chauffeur.

-I don't understand people with pets. I can't imagine another mouth to feed, another mound of poop to handle, more hair clinging to the furniture, or more noise in the house. I don't mind that other people have pets, but I don't get the appeal and I probably never will.  I consider getting a cat every few years, but then I remember the litter box. My friend here has a Golden Retriever that I love with all my being, and if it were possible to get THAT PARTICULAR DOG, I would have a dog.  But since it's not, I probably never will.

-I have a Bachelor's of Science in Nursing from Auburn University.  I got it by working my ass off in high school and getting an all expenses paid trip for one via an ROTC scholarship. To 'pay back' this scholarship, I served in the US Navy for four years, but you can hardly call it 'paying back' because it's not like I worked for free, I did a job that I trained those four years to do, and I was paid as well (fine, much better) than most people that I graduated with. I have a hard time stomaching it when people say they couldn't afford to go to college, because neither could I, and I went to the best school in the country (War Eagle.) And to people who complain about having to 'pay back' the ROTC scholarships, that's bullshit.  It's not slave labor, you're getting paid to work. I'm sure there's plenty of extenuating circumstances, but for the most part, I'm not buying it.  Work hard, work hard for specific goals, and be willing to work harder.

That being said, after I 'paid back' my scholarship, I quit working.  Drives my mother INSANE, but the way I see it, my parents aren't out that money (since Auburn was free) so the only people who are affected by my decision to stay home and watch tv all day instead of working are myself and my husband, neither of whom mind at this stage in our lives that that's what I want to do.

-I can drive a standard transmission (thanks Dad!!) and change a tire, but that's about it for Life Skills, and I wouldn't rush to do either of those things any time soon.  I did my first load of laundry when I got to college, and I didn't start cooking until after I had Scott.  I'm an embarrassment to the Modern Woman because it doesn't bother me even a tiny little bit to let Nick handle almost EVERY SINGLE aspect of our day to day life. I don't look in on our bank accounts, I don't know anything about our investments, I don't keep up with car maintenance or registrations, I don't know which bills are due when.

If Nick dies on his way home from work today, I'm fucked.

But I figure I can figure it out, I'm pretty smart, and until then, I'm not worried about it.  He likes to be in control of everything those things, and I like to watch TV, so it works for us. Just don't tell any Modern Women on me.

-I love to learn new things, especially things that are likely to pop up on Jeopardy.  I knew Nick was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with when he understood, without any explanation, how I could LOVE Jeopardy with all my heart, and want nothing more than to compete on the show, but that I would rather peel my skin off layer by layer rather than be on that show, in front of the audience and Alex and the other contestants.  In that same vein, he would NEVER subject me to the horror of waiters singing me happy birthday at Chili's.  Shudder.

I love to read, but I think those snobs who say "I'd rather read the worst book ever written than watch the best movie ever made" are morons.  I mean, that's just stupid.  Why would you EVER want to read crapola? And what's wrong with movies? I used to think I read fast, but now I realize that I don't, I just read a lot. The idea of not finishing a book is very strange to me.  Even if it sucks, I still plow through.  That being said, I rarely start a book I think would suck.  Obviously.

I am addicted to reading the ends first, even though I KNOW it will make me unhappy in the long run. I'll never forget when I read Midwives, I flipped to the end and read it and it sucked and I felt like such a failure...but wait!!! The pages were stuck together, I'd read the SECOND TO LAST page!!! And if you've read it, you know, and if not, you shouldn't read my SPOILER ALERT, but when she stabbed the mom for the section, the mom moved, maybe, just maybe, she wasn't dead, and it changed the entire book.  And that's the first time I really realized what a mistake it is to read ahead.

But I can't stop.

When Harry Potter Seven came in the mail from Amazon, I had to make Nick open the package and staple the last fifty pages of the book to the back cover.  And I STILL looked ahead to where the staple was and that's how I knew how Snape dies before I even started the book and it sucked and I hate myself for that.

Reading on the Kindle takes care of this problem nicely, which is why I read on it almost exclusively.  Not because I'm cool with technology or because I don't miss flesh and blood books, but because I am a crazy fool with no self control.

-I watch a lot of TV. I think we've beaten that horse to death a few times over. I don't watch reality tv other than cooking. The hardest part of living in London, for me, is that I don't get to watch a lot of my American shows.  But it's (OBVIOUSLY) worth it. I do not watch sports, other than swimming at the Olympics. Last summer I got sucked into watching the women's marathon- holy shit. It was captivating.  I still can't believe I sat there for three hours watching it.

-I hate to exercise, but I do it, because I'm fat and crazy and I feel like it might help with the fat and I know for a fact it helps with the crazy, so there you go.  Blah.  I really do hate it.

-I rarely drink, because my father is a recovering alcoholic and addiction scares me.  When I do drink, I usually get completely drunk, and I'm okay with that, since it's so rare. I only drink if Nick is there, and I'd rather drink at home or at a friend's, as opposed to in a bar. My favorite is a rum and diet coke, but I also like a good mojito or a margarita on the rocks.

-I mostly listen to what I would call alternative folk music.  Mumford, Van Morrison, Bob Dylan, Amos Lee, stuff like that, but I also like regular rock. I am the number one fan of The Greatest Band of Our Generation, The Killers, whom I saw in concert in June.  AMAZING. I hope to go see Imagine Dragons next month, and I also really like Monsters and Men, Young the Giant, and of course, Florence and the Machines. Bruce Sprinsteen, Pink Floyd, the Who, Credence...I could go on and on.  I don't like heavy metal or rap or even hard rock. I don't like things that I can't understand the lyrics, and I prefer things that I can understand enough to sing slash shout. I'm a not so secret fan of country music too.  Basically, as long as it's got a good drummer, I'm in.

I also listen to the Pitch Perfect soundtrack a lot.  WHATEVER.

-I have social anxiety and depression.  I hate talking to people, even people I know. I'd rather just text. Or not interact.  I'm fine with not leaving my house for two weeks, other than driving to school. I used to get super anxious about my anxiety, trying to force myself into situations where I was uncomfortable because I thought it was important, but not anymore. Nowadays, I think I know my limits, and I know what's important. The idea of a group of women and children together, having to talk to other moms and monitor Daisy while she plays, that gives me hives. I'm getting short of breath thinking about. In the olden days, I would get all worried about how I never went to play groups and get so anxious about the fact that I was anxious- it was a nightmare. But now, I understand that this is a Bad Idea, so I don't bother even looking into play groups, and instead I try to find a small, once a week Bible study, with just a few other women.  Does that make sense? I'm just sick of getting worked up trying to pretend I'm a normal person when I'm just not, and that's okay.

It's OKAY.

-I am whatever the opposite of a germaphobe is. It's pretty disgusting.  I won't go into any more detail than that.

-I don't get all worked up about animal rights, even though I probably should.  I hate the way they get eggs from chickens, so I only buy free range eggs, but I know deep down that they probably don't even really get free range, they probably only get a few feet.  Ugh.

-I am a Christian, but I'm not concerned with any specific denomination of Christianity. I don't understand people who don't believe in Jesus, and I feel awful for people who have to go through life without the Holy Spirit.  I am severely lacking in any sort of spiritual life lately, and it's not surprising how that infects every single aspect of my life.

She goes on for a few more bullets, but they're strange and don't apply to me, so I'm out.  I hope I didn't scare you away.


  1. We have so much in common it's not even funny. :) lots of common bulleet points :)

    1. I'm starting to feel less and less 'different'- I feel like maybe quite a few women have odd quirks, but maybe no one wants to talk about them? Who knows. I miss your blog!! You were one of the very first blogs I ever read :(

  2. Wonderful, candid post. I am so right there with you on sooo many levels.

    1. Thankyou! Isn't it nice to not feel alone?

  3. Aw, thank you for your kind words! You are sweet, and I'm glad you did this too. I'd totally rather text people, especially when I'm flaking out on plans because I want to sit around by myself at home :)<3

    1. So...I texted my bestie that you commented on my blog. Is that weird? Because you're basically famous.