Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Ya'll.  Wow.  Just wow.

Do you ever read something and it like slaps you in the face? Like, you realize it's the answer to a question you didn't even know you had?

No? Just me? Whatever. You're a liar if you think that. Or you're just not a reader, I suppose...

Anyway.  Today, I read this post.  Go read it. Take your time, I'll wait.

Did you read it yet?

Right?!?! I mean, WOW, right?!?!

I flew to the big computer to comment.  And I am NOT a commenter, I like NEVER comment on blogs. Mainly because I read blogs via feedly on my phone, and commenting is a PAIN IN THE ASS on my phone with my big fat thumbs, so I don't do it. So for me to comment is a big thang.

And the more I pecked out, the more I cried.  Right?!?! I mean, she just NAILED it.

Rather than try to form a coherent thought, I'm just gonna cut and paste my comment. Consider this my post for the day. Consider these words fighting words.  I'm coming for you, Terrible Mother, Bringer of Nasty Mornings, Breaker of the Peace. It's on. In the words of the timeless Dwight Schrute: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

"Oh. My. GOSH. I'm not usually a commenter, but at the risk of laying it out and coming across as some sort of creepo stalker- I feel like you crawled out of my iPad like that thing from the Ring (remember that girl? She came out of the tv if you watched that video?) and shook my shoulders and shouted (peacefully though, duh) "JENNIFER! I WROTE THIS POST FOR YOU!!!"

Because I think you did.

I have four little kids, at three different schools, with the youngest with me all day. My husband doesn't work crazy hours, but he leaves early and I'm stuck with them all morning alone. We don't do extracurriculars, I don't volunteer or work or even have some sort of etsy home business to run.  This is LITERALLY the calmest my life is probably ever going to be.

Yet every morning, I'm screaming and hollering.  At least one kid is crying, usually three.  I usually send them off to school hot tempered, hurt feelings-ed, mad at me, mad at each other, mad at the world.  And really, that's what I'm offering the world? These angry children? These children who are SO UPSET because I don't understand why they need to build JUST ONE MORE LEGO CASTLE when it's five minutes PAST the absolute latest possible moment we can pull out of the drive and still make it to schools on time?

These angry children come home happy (we've got great schools) and hungry and I almost always spoil it within seconds of closing the door. Nagging.  Put your things away! Do your homework!! NO LEGOS!!!
This isn't the life I signed up for.

What happened? I was supposed to half lay, half lounge on the sofa, with one of those old afghan type blankets, two or three (four?!?! Never four!!!) kids vying playfully for a spot on my lap, a fire crackling in the periphery, and I'd crack open my own old battered copy of Little House on the Prairie or one of the Narnia books, and we've read the afternoon away.

I can't think of the last time I read to my children something other than Lightning McQueen Wins the Race. I'm too busy yelling to read.  They're too busy crying and nursing hurt feelings to listen.

How did this happen? Why did this happen? How do I fix it? When will I fix it?

So yeah. Thank you.  This post...wow. I'm gonna regret this, but I'm gonna admit that I want to try it. And it probably won't last. I'll probably make it twenty minutes without yelling.  Without breaking the peace.
But I've got to try.

So thank you. From the bottom of my heart.  Thankyou. "

Who's with me?

4 comments:

  1. Very thought-provoking post...loved it. We could totally use more peace around here. The noise level that we tolerate in this house has become totally unacceptable. I think I pray every morning for peace and for me to be have more grace (i.e. ability to be a good model to my kids in voice and action) and I think I fail every day. I think my 'niceness' lasts at the most 3 hours and then I've had it. I think one thing that sometimes does keep us from being all over each other is doing so many extracurricular activities. I mean this fall it's been... Bebe-rides horses, runs in a girls club, plays basketball Sumner-tae kwon do, football, soccer, chess club, now basketball Sawyer-soccer & flag football, my husband I coach nearly every sport, too ...I think it gives them their own outlet for their own interests. However, I often question my motives. Am I really doing it for them or for me...for both? Am I somehow subconsciously avoiding them being all home with me? Gosh, I hope not, but it's crossed my mind. I'll be reading along to see how the "peace experiment" goes. I obviously can use some tips.

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    1. I need tips too!! If we all need tips...who's going to give us the answers? I can't figure out how to do extracurriculars. I've always had a problem with like, only being able to do one thing a day. So if we go to church on Sunday, even though we're home at eleven thirty...that's it. I can't do ANYTHING else. Which makes for a not very productive day. Which leads me to wonder if I'm doing this because I'm lazy and don't WANT to do more. Who knows. Ugh.

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  2. I cry commenting all the time, so no worries. ;) Thank you for sharing all this and for feeling my pain, like, literally. Am hopeful we all have (or at least TRY to have, that's all I'm asking of myself - ha!) a peaceful november into december and all the days beyond... xo from Dublin.

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    1. Well I've already yelled at my third today. He's the worst. And the one who gets MOST upset when I start tearing him apart. He just jumps and says, always surprised, 'mama! That SCARED me!!' Ugh. Tomorrow is a new day?

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