Thursday, January 9, 2014


Like all the other stay at home mamas with too much time on their hands, I have said 'oh HELL no' to New Year's Resolutions and decided instead to go with a One Little Word.

No points for originality, but since I don't ever even do anything with all the points I rack up in my head anyway, who cares. I originally got the inspiration from (who else) Elise. Her word this year is WHOLE, and last year it was BRAVE (she was having a baby while her husband was deployed)  and before I started stalking her, she used MAGIC and CHOOSE.  A girl I stalk on IG used GO last year and is doing PLAY this year. I toyed around with GO and CHOOSE, but neither of those really called out to me.

What do I want more than anything? Peace. I want to feel calm and I want the anxiety to just GO AWAY. But none of those words seemed right either.

I want a better life. My life is amazing, don't get me wrong, but c'mon, don't we all want things to be just a bit BETTER? I don't want more money (although I wouldn't turn it down) and I certainly don't want more things (or more children...) but I just want more SOMETHING.

Then this verse popped into my head. Well, the second half of it.  "...I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." (John 10:10, this is the NKJV)

I know this is probably talking about eternal life, and of course I'm super excited to have an awesome eternal life, but that's a given, right? So for me, this spoke to my heart about THIS life.

He came and suffered and died so that I can have a life. And not just a life, but a GOOD life.

When I delivered Warren at the beginning of 2009, my life was vastly different than it is now, but also vastly different than what it had been just months before. Before that, I was an officer in the US Navy, doing real, challenging, IMPORTANT work. I was a nurse, and it wasn't just a career, it was a calling. It's what I was born to do, to comfort people as they lay dying, to tend to their families in the midst and in the aftermath.

But with Nick on subs and the babies that just kept coming, we decided that I should get out of the Navy. I tried civilian nursing, but it was MUCH harder work, I couldn't get into any sort of palliative care, I didn't have the freedom of my schedule that everyone in the Navy fantasizes just didn't pan out.  So I delivered Warren and went from being a mother of two with a full time sitter and a career that she loved to a stay at home mom with three children aged three and under. Oh, and my husband was underwater ALL THE TIME.

So needless to say, I sank into a pretty significant depression, which I've recounted here numerous times, so I won't go into it. And I got help and I feel better, but a lot of the underlying problems are still there. I've spent the last five years surviving. And I'm not necessarily ashamed of that, I did what I had to do, you know? Food, clothing, shelter. That's it, that's all I've been consumed with for five long years. Keeping our heads above water, yes, but still, stagnant. Just threading water. Just surviving.

But now things are different. Nick is here, for starters. My kids are older. I'm not pregnant, there's no newborn. So our word for the year was born.


This is the year that we will (slowly, probably painfully) shift as a family from survival mode to flourishing. FLOURISHING. Maybe that should have been my word. But THRIVE just looks tidier, doesn't it?

What will this look like? I have no idea. Completely coincidently, one of my very best friends is also doing a One Little Word, and with her help (thanks again Mel!!!) I'm going to work my way through Ali Edwards' program. Yes, her word is THRIVE as well. I knew what I wanted to do this year, and then I happened upon her site (from Elise, naturally) and there she was, holding that red word, and it was like a stack of bricks hit me. So yes, I basically copied her. I never claimed to be original!!!

One of the first 'assignments' is to look up the definition and find some synonyms for your word. Here's what google has to say for definitions.

1. to prosper; be successful.
2. to grow or develop vigorously; flourish.

1. To make steady progress; prosper.
2. To grow vigorously; flourish: "the wild deer that throve here" (Tom Clancy).

1. to grow strongly and vigorously
2. to do well; prosper

And some synonyms google offered are

And even though it wasn't part of the assignment, I wanted to look into the opposites too. That was I can be on the lookout for what NOT to do ;)

So there you go. Bear fruit. Prosper. Get places. Get THERE. Grow. Radiate. Advance. ARRIVE. Don't cease. Don't shrivel, wither, decline, recede. That is my goal for this year. I don't know what that's going to look like yet. It was easy to think how awesome this was going to be when we were on vacay last week, but now that I'm back in real seems a little daunting. And I can't think of a good way to wrap this up, so I'm just gonna stop typing. See ya'll on the flip side.


  1. I like mushroom. I think you should definitely mushroom this year..

  2. My word might be in stay sane! I wish I had the werewithal to pick a word to not only strive to "do" all year, but to be lucky enough to remember within a week.