Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Stream of Consciousness

 -I have approximately four thousand pics to organize and cull down and approximately zero desire to even click on a single one.  Nick went back to work yesterday and I want to spend my last two days of freedom/imprisonment laying on the couch drinking coffee and watching Frasier and pretending I don't see the messes they're making or the fights they're having.

-Sunday in church Daisy asked me to draw her a teddy bear, so I did.  She glared at it, shrugged nonchalantly, and snapped "that's a cloud." #unimpressed #alwaysunimpressed Then she fell asleep and drooled all over Nick's leg and I felt strangely vindicated. #inevertakethehighroad

-The other day I was brushing my teeth and it was taking forever and I was getting all kinds of bored.  Then I realized that I was waiting for my toothbrush to jump and signal and turn itself off.  But my toothbrush is not my clarisonic, so it doesn't do that.  Idiot.  But also, why don't they have a toothbrush that does that? Wouldn't that be more fun? I didn't even know the clarisonic did that when I bought it, but it's by far my absolute favorite thing about it.  Idiot.  Clarisonic people, make a toothbrush!! Suckers like me will pay for it!!

-How did I, cherisher of the gift card for ALL occasions, end up with two besties who passionately claim Gift Giver as their love language? It's embarrassing.  Angela sent me a random (for! no! reason!!) package the other day filled with GORGEOUS yarn, a thoughtful bag made from my FAVORITE fabric, and (oddly enough) my favorite- a key fob made from that same FAB line of fabric.  I have been trying to not be such a horrible person so I've been amassing things in a box to send to her over the last few weeks.  So far, I've got a box of tea that she specifically asked for and a tin of candy that Scott and I already ate half of.

Why am I such an asshole? How can I get this Gift Giving gene? #ihaveagiftreceivinggeneinstead

-My entire life, I've been super pissy about my name.  "Jennifer. Not Jenn or Jenny. Jennifer." I recently (okay, college.  Fifteen years ago.) conceded and allow Jenn, but I insist on two n's. What the fuck is that about? It's so stupid!! When people say the word, there's no difference between Jen and Jenn. And who fucking cares how they spell it?!?!
I have no idea why I'm so neurotic about this (yes I do, it's because #imanasshole) but it's so stupid. I still do hate Jenny but seriously Engelbrecht, get off the fucking high horse and quit throwing a hissy fit when someone calls you Jen in an email.  NO ONE CARES!!! Except for you.  And these Urban Dictionary people.

-While I know Nick isn't an Ashely Madison person, I've been thinking lately (because that's basically all anyone is talking about on the interwebZ) and I can't figure out how it works.  I guess the google would tell me.  How do you find out if your husband is on the list? Did someone email you? Did you have to go thru a list of like nine million perverts, searching for his name? Was it at least alphabetized? By first or last name? How do you know if it was YOUR Nicholas Engelbrecht, or one of the other fifty seven in the United States?

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