-Sunday in church Daisy asked me to draw her a teddy bear, so I did. She glared at it, shrugged nonchalantly, and snapped "that's a cloud." #unimpressed #alwaysunimpressed Then she fell asleep and drooled all over Nick's leg and I felt strangely vindicated. #inevertakethehighroad
-The other day I was brushing my teeth and it was taking forever and I was getting all kinds of bored. Then I realized that I was waiting for my toothbrush to jump and signal and turn itself off. But my toothbrush is not my clarisonic, so it doesn't do that. Idiot. But also, why don't they have a toothbrush that does that? Wouldn't that be more fun? I didn't even know the clarisonic did that when I bought it, but it's by far my absolute favorite thing about it. Idiot. Clarisonic people, make a toothbrush!! Suckers like me will pay for it!!
Why am I such an asshole? How can I get this Gift Giving gene? #ihaveagiftreceivinggeneinstead
-My entire life, I've been super pissy about my name. "Jennifer. Not Jenn or Jenny. Jennifer." I recently (okay, college. Fifteen years ago.) conceded and allow Jenn, but I insist on two n's. What the fuck is that about? It's so stupid!! When people say the word, there's no difference between Jen and Jenn. And who fucking cares how they spell it?!?!
-While I know Nick isn't an Ashely Madison person, I've been thinking lately (because that's basically all anyone is talking about on the interwebZ) and I can't figure out how it works. I guess the google would tell me. How do you find out if your husband is on the list? Did someone email you? Did you have to go thru a list of like nine million perverts, searching for his name? Was it at least alphabetized? By first or last name? How do you know if it was YOUR Nicholas Engelbrecht, or one of the other fifty seven in the United States?