Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Wait

Well I was going to write this all bragging about how I don't mind waiting at all, but I don't think what I mean is 'waiting'.  I don't mind 'waiting' for things when I can read or knit or even just play on my phone.  But is it really considered waiting if I'm having such a good time?
I have to wait for traffic to clear out every morning after the school run, so I can either sit at the traffic lights (there's only two between me and my house- God bless the traffic circle forever and ever Amen) or I can wait in my parking spot and read a few pages of my book.  Guess which one I pick? I have to wait an hour every Tuesday evening during swim class, I could either talk to Nick, talk to other parents (strangers!! no way Jose!!!) or read my book or get a few rows on a sock done.  Guess which one I pick?

But those seem like cheats.  I'm only 'patient' when it benefits me.

On the other hand, we're 'waiting' to find out where we're gonna live next and I'm not handling that well AT ALL.  We sort of think we might maybe know where we could end up, but honestly, until the plane tickets are paid for and our household goods are loaded up and on the boat...I won't feel confident that that's where we're headed.

Why is waiting for this so much harder? I don't know, I'm really asking.  My visa doesn't expire until June, so I've got nine months and some change.  It's not like I have to 'get ready' bc I'm not one of those weirdos who pre-packs for the packers.  No thank you.  They'll walk in one day to the house exactly as it is RIGHT THIS SECOND, throw all my shit in boxes and be on their way.  I don't need to know which box my fourteenth favorite coffee mug is in bc I just don't really care.

No matter where we go, it's not like I can register the kids for school early.  I guess I could if we went private, but there's a lot of them, and mama ain't getting a job, so we're not paying for school.  So I don't need to do that.

And those are the only two things that I'm really in charge of, so essentially, I've got nine months to read and knit and watch tv, all things I love to do.

So why is it so hard?!?! It doesn't make any sense!!!

Why can't I just stay here?!?! Maybe that's at the root of this distaste for waiting- I don't want to leave.  Do I think that if I know where we're going it will be easier to leave this, The Best City in the Whole Wide World? It won't!! Nothing will make it easier!!!

Also, I'm a homebody, I try to leave the house as little as possible.  So it doesn't MATTER if I live in Virginia or Connecticut or California or Guam.  My furniture is the same no matter what, so why do I care?!?! Whatever is going to happen is just going to HAPPEN.
via my fave Elise Blaha Cripe


Ugh.  This is just getting me all worked up, so I'm out.

Edited to add that I drank the koolaid the other day and listened to the first two episodes of Limetown (most accurately described by someone or another as 'Serial meets X Files') and now I've got to wait apparently forever for the next episode.  So waiting sucks. The end.

Linking up with Mama Kat's Pretty Much World Famous Writer's Workshop with the prompt: Write a blog post inspired by the word: wait.  You should join up too, it's super fun.  Super fun party, girls. 

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