Monday, October 5, 2015

Stream of Consciousness

-I feel like a kid in a huge toy store- my kids are ALL FOUR gone ALL DAY. I get home from the school run just after nine and leave to get them just before three.  So that's roughly six hours.  I have SO MANY THINGS that I want to do, but with all those hours stretched all out before me, cascading over the horizon, so far away I can barely make them out... I can rarely decide what to do.
Wash the walls? Purge the bookshelves in the living room? Finish the quilts for the twins? Attack the fabric I ordered to make the tova top? Knit? Work on my scrapbook? Read all the books I checked out? Return the seventeen outfits I decided against for our family photos?

Since I can't decide, I mostly just watch tv.  Makes it easier.  I watched five episodes of Orphan Black last Thursday.  I'm pretty sure I got a bedsore and I started drooling.  My brain melted.

But man, season three? A-okay emoji.

(In addition to tv, I spend a lot of time scrolling pinterest on my phone.  YOU'RE WELCOME.)

-The children (THE CHILDREN WERE SCREAMING- name that movie!!) are once again out of control.  It's because I'm so lazy.  I can't I just sack up and discipline Ava? She's so sassy and disrespectful, and we ALL know who's fault it is when children are disrespectful.
Do we let them play on their kindle too much? Yes, but it's only an hour a day!! Do we put them to bed too early? They're home by three thirty (boys) and four thirty (Ava) so that's four hours (averaged) between when they get home and when they go to bed.  They need to eat (three times) do some homework, read some books, take a bath (some days) and tidy up their shit.

That's PLENTY of time!! So what's the problem?

The problem is that I'm stuck on wanting to make sure they have enough 'down time.' Those asshats have all the downtime they need, I need to just get over it.  Ugh.

-In a milestone Stay At Home Suburban Mom moment, my kids (all four!!) are doing an extracurricular!! This is a FIRST for Team Engelbrecht!! Ava has done karate after school on Wednesdays since we got here, but that doesn't really count bc it's at the school so alls it really does is change her pickup time from four to five.  No skin off my back.  Scott did art class last year and I suppose that really does count as an extracurricular.

But yes, now they all take swim lessons on Tuesday evenings.  We eat dinner, tidy up (lol) then head out at quarter seven for an hour of swim class!! I feel just like a tv mom!! I just need a mini van! It's so weird to me that I'm thirty three (thirty three!!) and I've been a mother for TEN YEARS but it's things like feeling like a tv soccer mom to make me feel like an adult.  Weirdo.

Can I just say that I was looking on pinterest (of course I was) for a funny meme about how it sucks to drive kids around (even though we only do ONE thing, we're so stupid) and I found that Hitler thing above.  What the heck?!?! What does that even mean?!?!

-I got my eyebrows threaded a few weeks ago.  I went in to get them waxed bc I always get them waxed and you know how I feel about change, but I was super broken out and had like eleven zits IN my eyebrows, so she suggested threading, and like a moron I agreed.
Most pain I've ever been in.  I couldn't even play it off like oh my eyes are watering, tee hee hee, no big deal because I was straight up crying.

-Wanna know how popular and fabulous I am? Few weeks ago, I went out for DRINKS (how grown up am I now?!?!) on a WEEKNIGHT with a gorgeous blonde British YOUNGER girl!! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I have made a FRIEND.  A cool friend!!! And she has a baby who NEVER CRIES and as far as I can tell, he's never had a dirty diaper.

I should definitely have another baby.  Then she'll have to be my friend FOREVER.  That's a rule, isn't it?

Then I went out with A DIFFERENT FRIEND to see Kerry Ellis and Louise Dearman, and then TWO OTHER FRIENDS to see the Martian Saturday!!

That's FOUR different friends, for those of you counting.

If sixth grade Jenn could see me now, she would shit her pants.

-Lastly, where the fuck is episode three of Limetown?!?! I don't have all day, I need to know what happens next!!!

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